You don't understand!

Doc you got to lock me up? Stop looking at as if I'm crazy! Look, you don't understand, year ago I was bitten by a wolf......a werewolf, every night of the full moon I turn into a monster. You got to stop me before I kill again! Please, won't you listen to me, you fool! You got to lock me up now! If you don't, you'll be sorry! I might accidentally kill you while I have temporarily regressed into my bestial form. OK, don't say I didn't warn you. JERK!

Note: This is based entirely off a true story! Except the raving madman didn't use the word jerk, he actually said, "MORON!" But jerk sounded a lot better, so we took a little liberties telling you this exciting story.

Note: The man really wasn't a werewolf, he was actually a pizza delivery boy.

Note: He wasn't bitten by a wolf either, he was actually bitten by his pet cat.


I

Another fuckin' Patriot and Colts play off game!

Why? Why did we have to be given the worst case scenario for an AFC championship game? For the next week on ESPN they are going to be making stupid comments like, "Will Peyton Manning finally beat the Patriots? Is it his year? Will Tom Brady win his fourth Super Bowl? Will history repeat itself? See why Sean Salisbury thinks it's Peyton Manning's year." Then Sean Salisbury (one of the biggest douche bags on the planet) will jabber on and on about how Manning is the greatest quarterback of all time, then as a sidenote say that Tom Brady is pretty good too. Then he'll say something like, "Peyton Manning's defense and offense better not let him down like last year," because as well all know Peyton Manning doesn't make mistakes.
Have you ever watch a Colts game? Every time Peyton Manning throws a completion the commentators are like, "GENIUS! He truly is one of the all time greats." Then when he throws an interception they'll say something like,"It was a smart interception, it was practically like a punt. Manning knows when to make smart interceptions, that why he is the GREATEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME!" Damn the Chargers! Damn the Ravens! Damn all the AFC teams that allowed this to happen.

The Seahawks are the best team ever bro!

Sundays victory over the Tampa Buccaneers proved once and for all that the Seattle Seahawks are the best team ever! I mean...dude... they totally destroyed the Bucs. Matt Hasselbeck is one bad ass bro and don't get me started on Shaun Alexander; he's so bad ass that he makes other bad asses look like Cinderella. The Cowboys don't stand a chance against the Seahawks.
Did you know the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl last year? Super Bowl XXXL was the greatest Super Bowl of all time.
And I don't want to hear the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl! They didn't bro, they were robbed by the refs. The refs had it out for the Seahawks, because of America's love affair with the Steelers. The refs sucked! Hasselbeck clearly is the greatest quarterback of all time and as far as I'm concerned he is a Super Bowl winner.
I really am craving a frappucino at the moment, think I'll head over to Starbucks, bro.

I think I'll go to the museum.

After having seen the delightful A Night at the Museum, I have decided to take a trip to the museum. According to the movie the museum is a place where "history comes alive." I'm so excited about going to the museum that I actually took the day off from work so I could go. I'm also bringing my girlfriend, because she found the movie delightful as well. Who knows what exciting adventures we will encounter.