Saturday, March 29, 2008

This movie is not good, but it's not bad either.
It was slight better than bad, but it wasn't quite good. I mean it could have been good, but it was sabotaged by the bad...well not sabotaged, but it was lacking in a couple of areas that could have made it good, then again it did have enough positives things going for it that it wasn't bad either. It certainly wasn't a waste of time, thought I don't think I would ever watch it again. In fact, now that
think about it I kind of want my money back, but then again it did have a delightful leading lady, but the leading actor was kind of stiff, but...wait......
What Shakespeare monologue should I prepare for my audition as an extra?

As every one knows Johnny Depp is filming a movie in Wisconsin and they are currently looking for extras; therefore I have decided to WOW the producers by performing a Shakespeare monologue. Who knows, my audition might be so good that have no choice but to give me a bigger part in the movie. The only problem is I have no idea what Shakespeare monologue to perform. I was thinking of doing the "To Be or Not To Be" monologue from Hamlet, but that might be redundant, after all who hasn't done that monologue. Or I could do the Mark Anthony speech from Julius Caesar, you know, "lend me your ears." That would be awesome. I would totally blow Marlon Brando's rendition out of the water. So many monologues and so little time to choose, but I must choose if I hope to impress the producers of this upcoming Johnny Depp movie. Who knows, maybe, just maybe Wisconsin will be the next Hollywood.

What? Is he dead?
Sit thee down father, rest you.

Friday, March 21, 2008

I can't stand anti-war activists, they are possible the most annoying creatures to have ever roamed the planet. They think just because they are against war that it some how makes them superior to every one else. If you agree with them then you are enlightened, if you disagree with them, then you are a closed minded racist fascist that steals candy from babies, while cackling over a pile of gold. "War is not my voice." Yeah, well you're incessant self-righteous spiel is not my voice, but you seem to have no problem rubbing your view points in my face. Yesterday on the news they were showing activists protesting in the streets of New York, shutting down traffic, just so they could shout their tired anti-war slogans like, "Bush is a Nazi" and "No Blood For Oil." These are the same people who get upset when Christian groups impose their view points on the world by protesting films like The DaVinci Code, yet some how see no problem in shutting down traffic so they can impose their view points.
Even more troubling are the extreme activists, the ones who dress up in bloody soldier uniforms and stage fake tortures for the public. What's even more troubling is that they do this all with smiles on their faces, cause as we all know nothing is more comical than seeing a person get tortured. No wonder the Saw films are big hits! They're comedies! Then you get the activists who bring themselves to near orgasmic states by spouting out the number of fatalities the war has brought upon Americans and Iraqis. I personally think anti-war activists secretly love the war, because it brings meaning to their otherwise meaningless lives. It gives them something to bitch and feel good about, otherwise they would probably fritter their day away at Starbucks, drinking over priced coffee, while writing crappy poems about how no one understands them.
OK, I'm generalizing here, but anti-war activists to the exact same thing, so let's call it even.
The worst protest I ever saw involved three college students putting on a skit in which a guy wearing a "United States" shirt was hitting a guy wearing an "Iraq" shirt with smelly fish, then a girl wearing a "United Nations" shirt came in with a blow horn and shouted, "Screw you Uncle Sam, you're over stepping your bounds." This might have been effective had it not been for the fact that they were all laughing during the skit, instead they just looked like a trio of pompous idiots.
There was an interview with the jackass behind the skit and with a smug look of triumph on his face he said, "We came up with the skit while drinking coffee." Would that be Starbucks coffee? Nothing like a heartless corporation to help get your creative juices flowing! Right comrade!
I'm sure most people reading this rant will probably think I'm pro-Bush stooge who supports the Iraq War, well sorry to disappoint, but I'm not. I just think that these activists are doing more to hurt the anti-war cause than to help it. They kind of reminiscent of extreme Packers fans, they ones who will shout idiotic slogans, dress up in full Packers regalia and beat their children when the Packers lose. They may support the same team I do, but I find them utterly embarrassing regardless.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Why have a meaningful conversation when you can quote movies?

Yesterday my girlfriend tried to have a "deep" conversation with me, it was rather annoying. When she would ask me a question I would respond by saying, "I hate them all! Not just the men, but the women and children." Then I would laugh at my genuine wit for ten minutes, because I was quoting Star Wars Episode: Attack of the Clones. I'm so clever. After desperately trying to get into my head for half an hour my annoying girlfriend finally threw in the towel and I was free to watch Super Bad in peace. Hmmmmm..... you know what would be funny? If I got an ID that said McLovin' on it. That would be hilarious. It's would be like that one time when my bros and I tried to crash a wedding after watching the hilarity that was Wedding Crashers. Or when we attempted to join a fraternity after watching Old School. Or my personal favorite, when I tried to slay vampires after watching Van Helsing, only to find that vampires don't exist.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

We're alright I guess......I mean, I wouldn't say we're the best team out there, but we certainly aren't the worst. We could lose this upcoming game, but then again we could win it. Anything is possible, I guess. I wouldn't say we're odds on favorites to win it, but I can't say we're odds on favorites to lose it either. I mean, we're a pretty decent team. We're kind of like the movie Jurassic Park III, a serviceable, if completely unremarkable follow to the wonderful original. That describe this team in a nutshell, we're fairly serviceable but we're not going to win a championship any time soon....or maybe we will. Who knows? I guess anything is possible. Personally, I don't see us winning the big game. I see us getting far, but not that far. Any other questions? Good!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

I can't believe it...Brett Favre is retiring! After 17 seasons in the NFL, Brett Favre has decided to all it quits. This is actually very shocking to me, considering the great season he had. I was expecting Favre to come back for at least one more season and (at least try) to go out a Super Bowl champ. WOW! He will be sorely missed by all the Green Bay Packers fans.