Today, I went to see the movie Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. While I personally didn't like it, I could see why other people (namely women) would like it, therefore I give it a B+.
In other news, I watched Star Wars Episode II on DVD; this film keeps getting better every time I watch it. The romance is well done and fight scenes are exciting. Star Wars does what The Lord of the Rings trilogy failed to do, tell an exciting story successfully with CGI. I just can't wait to own all six films on DVD.
That's it for now.

Note: The opinions of this person are not necessarily the opinions of this blog.

More scandalous pictures:

A historic moment!

I hate Family Guy. I remember when this show used to be funny, now it is nothing but a series of desperate, unoriginal, recycled comedy bits stolen either from funnier shows (South Park, The Simpsons) or from the first two seasons. It's almost like Seth MacFarlane ran out of ideas and looks at older episodes for inspiration.
"Hmmm, if that five minute chicken fight was funny the first time around, just imagine how funny it will be a second time. People will be delighted!"
"South Park did an episode that ridiculed Passion of the Christ, therefore I must do one as well. Only make it about one tenth as funny."
"People love the pedophile. I bet if I bring him back again, it will get just as much laughter the first ten times I used him."

I'm just waiting for Seth MacFarlane to make an episode that brings back the guy who shouts, "You're a big phony." And while we're at it, why not bring back Jorad and his highway warriors?After all, Seth they were funny the first time around, therefore their reappearance should produce as much laughter, if not more. And if we're lucky maybe we'll get a Family Guy - American Dad cross over episode. If it worked for the Simpsons and the Critic, why not for Family Guy and American Dad? Family Guy is proving to be The Master of Disguise of prime time, animated television show. Good job Seth!

Point:

Did you see that movie? It was good. I'm serious, it was a good movie. I was expecting it to be entertaining, but I never thought it was going to be so GOOD! It was a GOOD MOVIE! I mean, the scene in which the girl and guy make out was HOT! As was that exciting chase sequence at the film's conclusion. Fuckin' A, this was a GOOD MOVIE!

Counterpoint:

It was OK! I mean, the romance seemed forced and chase sequence went on way too long. I mean, I kept looking at my watch thinking, "Will this damn thing ever end?" I was disappointed. I mean, I didn't think the movie was bad, it was just OK! I mean.

Counter-counter point:

ZEPPELIN ROCKS!

Counter-counter-counter point:

They're OK!

Target, the ideal place to meet women?

Yesterday I was shopping at the Target in Waukesha and I realized that the place was filled with lots and lots of good looking women. I kid you not! The place was jam packed with hotties; customers and employees a like. And the best part is: The majority of them were of legal age. If you are a single, lonely guy then I suggest you go the the nearest Target and find yourself a women. You have a whole variety to choose from. Of course, the amount of hot women might vary depending on which Target you go to, therefore I would suggest you drive out to Waukeshal; with luck you will find the right woman.

Plus, they have shit load of regular priced $13.78 DVDS on sale for $10. Hurry, the offer expires on Saturday.

Gossip:

Yesterday a Certain Some One was spotted kissing You Know Who at a
nearby McDonald's. This Certain Some One reportedly popped the question
to You Know Who and You Know Who rejected this Certain Some One's
proposal. This Certain Some One was reportedly so distraught over the
rejection that he ran out of the nearby McDonald's in tears, which prompted
incessant laughter from You Know Who.

NEWS

Dave Faber, fellow blogger, college student and current employee of Marcus North Shore Cinema has left everything behind to embark on a quest to meet Keira Knightley. I got an e-mail from him yesterday, which read the following:


Goggman,

I must meet Keira Knightley. I have decided I would travel to the ends of the earth just to say, "What's up?" to her. I leave you in charge of taking care of my pet turtle. Talk to you later.

Faber

PS. I bought the movie Mission To Mars on DVD, it was hilarious.

As of now, I do not know where Dave Faber is. I do not know if he has succeeded in meeting Keira Knightley. All I know is that I have lost his pet turtle. If any one has information regarding its where abouts, please, please contact me. I will reward you with a video copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II. That's quite a generous offer. Thank you.

Taco Bell is delicious.

Last night I got so wasted, it was...it was fuckin' awesome. I mean, like I was totally smashed...it was hysterical. It was pretty bad ass, my friends Jim, Jack, Joe and I went to this bar and we drank a ton of brew. I got so wasted. I was totally macking on this chick sitting next to me, it was extremely bad ass! I think I might have even touched one of her breasts. It was so awesome. Man, I haven't been this wasted since last week. Then Jim, Jack, Joe and I went back to our apartment and drank some more brew. I think I threw up a few times, it was BOSS! I had a huge hang over, then I went to work at Denny's. Half way through my shift I realized that I didn't work at Denny's. It was crazy, man. Any ways, tonight Jim, Jack, Joe, and I are going to hit the bars again. Hope to catch ya there. Peace out!

Tim Burton: Hack or Auteur?
People often are under the delusion that Tim Burton is a brilliant autuer, who's film are profound pieces of art, when in actuality they are mediocre attempts at trying to make a statement about how wonderful it is to be different. Tim Burton pisses me off! I can't stand how he promotes himself as being a misunderstood artist, when clearly he revels in trying to make yet another studio picture that will make lots of money. If he would directly say that his interest in film making is monetary, maybe I could respect him. But he constantly talks about how his films are personal expressions of his tormented soul. Shut up Burton, you love money which is why you made Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a sure fire hit.
People often talk about how great Tim Burton's visual style is; Tim Burton has no visual style, he blatantly rips off of old German expressionistic and Universal Monster films. In Sleepy Hollow, the windmill scene is a virtual rehash of windmill scene in the far far far superior Frankenstein. Watch any Universal Monter movie and you will see that Tim Burton has generously borrowed his visual look from practically every one of these films. What's amazing is how these film are so consistently stylistic, yet they were made by a different set of directors, writers, cinematographers, etc. Thus shutting up the notion that you need a top flight director to make a visually superior film. The auteur theory has always been a load of nonsense, mainly because it assumes if a director makes five or six good films, then ALL his films must be good, or at least worth looking at. This applies to Tim Burton, he's made a few decent films, yet many people think because he's made a few entertaining films (never any masterpieces) that all his films must be good. Therefore, Burton fans tend to make his films out to be a lot better than they actually are.
Almost every one I know regards the 1989 version of Batman as being the DEFINITIVE Batman, when in actuality it is the definitive Joker film; Batman is given nothing to do but whisper softly and say stupid one liners like, "Alfred, let's go shopping." There's no attempt to examine the character or make him remotely interesting, except in a half assed flashback that shows the Joker aka Jack Napier gunning down his parents. The scene doesn't reveal too much about Bruce Wayne/Batman, it mainly shows his motivation for wanting to stop the Joker. If Jack Nicholson was not the STAR of the Tim Burton's Batman, there's no way people would hold it up on such a high pedestal. It's by no means a bad movie, but its far from being one of the best superhero films of all time. I think the latest cycle of superhero films (with the exception of Fantastic Four and the dreadful Daredevil) have put Tim Burton's Batman to shame. I could just see Tim Burton on the set of the film, giving Jack Nicholson directorial advice, "Your motivation is that you are a misunderstood artist, just like me. I'm so misunderstood, I was an outsider, therefore I'm filled with so much angst."
Does that mean I think all of Tim Burton's films are bad? No, just his direction. Generally, Tim Burton's film are saved by the strength of its casts, or the conviction of the ideas; Pee-Wee's Big Adventure; Beetle Juice, Edward Scissorhands, and Ed Wood (I admit that unlike a lot of my peers, I did like Big Fish) are among Burton's best works, mainly because the casting was perfect and the writing was top notch. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure is not so much a movie, but a string of clever ideas strung together. However, his other films including the over-rated Batman films suffer from poor writing, bad casting (Michael Keaton WAS not and IS not a good Batman), and are often self congragulatory in their darkness. Many of his visuals (like the overlong chase sequence in Sleepy Hollow) call attention to themselves and have a tendency to take away from the story rather than help it move along. Any one ever trying listening to Tim Burton commentary, all he ever talks about is how much he loves a certain shot, while laughing at what is happening on screen. "I love this shot, it's misunderstood like me. Oh look, Johnny Depp fell on his ass. Ha Ha!"
I would like to see Tim Burton do a film that isn't filled with lame homages, dumb one liners, pale people dressed in black, and that doesn't have a lead character who is misunderstood. Of course, many of his fans would say, "But that's taking away from his style. He makes a certain kind of film and he's good at what he does." The problem with that is you are unable to tell just how good of a director he truly is, because he makes the same type of film every year. It's like the author of a book writing the same novel every year with slight variations and getting rave notices for not writing something that is remotely different. He relies on the same trickery to tell a story, but never attempts to find a different way to tell a story. Just imagine if Tim Burton made a film about George Washington, it probably would be all dark, gothic, and have Johnny Depp as Washington.
The only good thing I can say about Tim Burton is that he is not Kevin Smith. At least, he is a visual artist, where as Kevin Smith's idea of cinema is people standing in front of brick walls, having long winded conversations that don't go any where.

I have decided that a blog is a waste of time, therefore rather than bore people to death with all the meaningless nonsense that goes on in my life; I have decided instead to bore people to death with all the meaningless nonsense that occurs in other peoples lives. This should be ever so fun.
Yesterday, Kevin Neville was spotted shaving his unibrow while shouting, "NO MAN!" at the mirror, apparently he was rehearsing what he would say at the Landmark if some one told him to cut down on his drinking.
Meanwhile, Matt Majewski was spotted at Best Buy, looking for the Criterion Edition of By Brakhage, only to realize that they didn't sell it there.
On a lighter note, Dave Faber began filming his shot for shot, scene for scene remake of Santa With Muscles. Expect it to hit video stores in Decemeber.
Finally, Pauly Shore and Steve Guttenberg have decided to join force to make the ultimate comedy, Board To Death, in which they play two snowboarders who also solve murder mysteries in their spare time. It should send chills down your spine. Roger Ebert raves: "I like this movie, and if I like it, it must be bad."
That is all.

Get a job? Ridiculous, for I am an ACTOR, and the only thing that consumes my life is my passion for the theater. ACTORS must concentrate first and foremost on their craft; a job would only prove distracting. Thankfully, my girlfriend is willing to pay all my bills until I get my feet off the ground. I am currently auditioning for a role in the upcoming screen adaptation of
Boys Meets World. I have been in a few films in the last decade; I was partygoer #4 in She's All That and recently I had a speaking role in the film Stealth. As Josh Lucas walked by, I turned around and said, "What's up?" then continued on my way.
Note: Two minutes after this post, the actor's girlfriend broke up with him. She is currently dating a guy who manages his own Chinese restaurant.

Films That I Liked, Part II

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (1966) Possibly the greatest western (and movie) EVER MADE! This is the third film in The Man With No Name Trilogy and is the most ambitious of the three. Its hard to do justice to this film in a few sentence, therefore I will have to write a review of the film some time in the future. Either way it is a must see.

M(1931) Fritz Lang's masterpiece about a child murderer (Peter Lorre) that is not only being pursued by the police, but organized criminals as well. What is surprising is how the killer isn't treated as villain, rather as a flawed human being. Lorre is memorable, especially in the final sequence that takes place in a kangaroo court.

The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953) This films main contribution to film history is that it was basically ripped off by the Japanese as Godzilla, King of the Monsters. Its by no means great, but the special effects by Ray Harryhausen still hold up, especially the scene in which The Beast terrorizes New York City.

The Seven Samurai (1954) The cinematography is breath taking, the fight scenes exciting, it is with out a doubt Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece. Despite a three and a half hour running time, the film always maintains one's interest.

Better Off Dead (1985) Dave Faber referenced this film in his review for Must Love Dogs, but he didn't do it any justice. What makes Better Off Dead such a good film is its inventive gags (a psychotic paper boys wanting "two dollar.") and over the top sense of humor (A claymation sequence that involves a hamburger playing electric guitar). The film rings out many laughs before settling down to a (kind of) conventional ending.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) positively with out a doubt the best screen version of Robin Hood. I can't find a single flaw in the movie, except maybe Will Scarlet's stupid facial gesture when he starts playing his instrument. Other than that, everything about this film is wonderful. Not to mention Basil Rathbone kicks ass as Sir Guy of Gisbourne.

The Scarlet Claw (1944) Speaking of Basil Rathbone, he was not only a great villain, but the screens best Sherlock Holmes. The Scarlet Claw is arguably the best film in the Sherlock Holmes series. Holmes goes to Canada to investigate murders that seem to be the work of a ghost. Watching Rathbone is always a pleasure, but this entry also features top notch work from the supporting cast, good special effects, and a wonderfully eerie atmosphere.

About A Boy (2002) The odd thing concerning About A Boy is that it's usually the type of film I hate with a passion. After all, there have been many life affirming films made in which a complete loser turns his life around thanks the presence of a lovable child. What makes About A Boy enjoyable is that the child in question is hardly an innocent and the film is quite funny, despite sentimental moments that threaten to get in the way.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) I include this film in my list because I didn't like the first two Harry Potter films, yet I found this one completely entertaining. Maybe its because this one had a darker side to it; maybe Gary Oldman rules despite his limited screen time, or possibly it could be that it's the shortest of the three. I don't know, but for some unknown reason I liked it so much that I bought it on DVD (it was on sale).

Ed Wood (1994) This was made back in the days before Tim Burton turned into a complete hack. Ed Wood is affectionate look at the worst director of all time with out so much a hint of condescension on Burton's part. Johnny Depp is likeable as the oddball director and Landau deservedly won an Oscar for his portrayal of Bela Lugosi. It's amazing how a transvestite who made bad movies became the subject for a good movie.

Films That I Like, Part I.

I have often been accused by my peers of hating everything, especially movies. When ever I say I didn't like a movie, people usually respond by saying, "But you hate every movie." This is simply not true. I don't hate every movie, it's just more fun to tear movies apart than it is to talk about how much you enjoyed watching them. Seriously, when you hate a movie you can talk endlessly for hours about what you didn't like about it, when you like a movie there's never really much to say. "It was good!" However, I would like to dismiss the myth that I hate every movie. Therefore, here is a list of movies I do *gulp* like.

Nevermind, I do hate every movie. Damn it, every one was right about me. When did I become such a bitter old man? Why can't I feel? WHHHHYYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYYYY?
Just kidding!

List (Part I):

Stop Making Sense (1984)- the greatest concert movie ever made; proving once again that the Talking Heads are the greatest band of all time.

The General (1927)- A silent comedy starring the greatest comedian of all time, Buster Keaton. Beautifully done, definitely worth a look.

King Kong (1933)- The 1933 classic is dated in many respects, but it is far more entertaining that most special effects films that are made today.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy - In my opinion (which many will consider blasphemy) the movies
are vastly superior to the books. The characters have more depth, and the battles have a bigger dynamic to them. The books are often sidetracked by endless poems and songs, and unnecessary characters like Tom Bombadil.

Rear Window (1954)- Hitchcock's best film. People often mentally masturbate to the fact that the dreadful film Phone Booth takes place entirely in a phone booth, well all of Rear Window (with th exception of two scenes) takes place in James Stewart's apartment. Most of the film is seen from his point of view, unlike Phone Booth, which has multiple points of view and noisy visuals.

Evil Dead II (1987) - Possibly the best sequel of all time. Not only does it improve upon the original film, but it is loaded with lots of memorable moments, the best being the scene in which Bruce Campbell tells a jabbering demon's head to "Swallow This!" Then blasting it into many pieces.

American Graffiti (1973)- What happened to George Lucas? It's hard to believe the man responsible for this moving film is also the same man who gave us three very ummoving Star Wars prequels. American Graffiti is perhaps Lucas best and most personal film and his love for the era shows. It features wonderfully performances from a then unknown cast; has a great soundtrack; and beautifully crafted sequences that revolve around cars crusing the streets. It's a film practically any one can relate to.

Jaws (1975)- My favorite Spielberg film. Some how Spielberg was able to take a crummy novel and turn it into an exciting action film that still holds up after repeated viewings. The cast is tremendous (Especially Robert Shaw as Captain Quint) and Spielberg builds the suspense by never showing the shark until half way through the film. The effects have shown their age; but I personally prefer an outdated mechanical shark to the equally phony looking CGI ones apparent in movies now a days.

House of Wax (1953) - Not the awful remake, but the 1953 version starring Vincent Price. The film is predictable as they come (pretty much every one knows Vincent Price's fate once the film begins), but nevertheless it is an incredily fun film to watch. Price is in top form as a mad sculptor and the film never takes itself to seriously. It's even better in 3D, especially the infamous paddle ball man sequence.

Ghostbusters (1984) One of the many films I grew up watching and still retains its charm despite having seen over 500 times. What impresses me about Ghostbusters is how restrained it is at times. The comedians don't mug it up for the camera and Bill Murray's dead pan persona nicely contrasts with the special effects. However, my favorite performance belong to Rick Moranis who constantly locks himself out of his apartment, while hopelessly trying to impress Sigourney Weaver.

This is part one of my list. Take in mind this is not a greatest films list, just films that I like. In future lists you will more than likely see titles like She's All That and Teen Wolf, neither is very good, but they are entertaing to watch.

WOW! I am shocked to find out that more than three people read my blog. This is truly an amazing development. It turns out that at least five or six people read my blog, and maybe a few others who come across it by accident. This is awesome. I'm going to celebrate by drinking a delicious can of Cherry Pepsi, then maybe I will eat some ice cream.

Johnny Depp is incapable of giving a bad performance.

Why is it that when ever Johnny Depp is in a movie, every one is under the impression that he is automatically brilliant in the role he is playing. Seriusly, he is absolutely dreadful in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, yet there are many people who think he is wonderful, mainly because he's Johnny Depp, and Johnny Depp is bad ass. Don't get me wrong, I think Johnny Depp is a good actor; he's probably one of my favorites. Yet, even good actors are capable of delivering bad performances. Such is the case with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; Johnny Depp gives a really annoying performance that consists of stupid one liners and a huge smile; there's no personality to the role. If it wasn't Johnny Depp playing Willy Wonka, there's no way people would be defending such a subpar performance. And if Tim Burton wasn't the director, there's no way any one would enjoy such an awful film.

I hate college students. They think they intellectually superior to every one else on the planet; yet are willing to pay money to see movies like Wedding Crashers and The Dukes of Hazzard. They can never see movies during the day, rather it has to be a late show that falls on a week night. They hope to avoid crowds by seeing a weeknight late show, but unfortunately they end sharing the theatre with other college students, who have the same faulty logic. Even more annoying is that half of the college crowd doesn't arrive until after the film has started. They always come in late and they MUST have their snacks, so they walk up to the vending stand and waste even more money on needless concessions. People who are willing to waste money on a bad movie and on needless concessions have no right claiming they are intellectually superior to any one. College students, especially the self proclaimed "intellects" are far more easy to manipulate than any one else. Just look at Michael Moore, he has the majority of college students believing he is a crusader for the people, when in actuality he is fat, money hungry capitalist that makes his millions exploiting the tragedies of others. However, since he claims to be anti-establishment and other cliches that college students eat up; he is elevated to a near god status by all the ignorant, college intellects who can't think for themselves.

PS: I don't hate all college students, just the liberal intellects that support Marxism and atheism.
If you want to be a true rebel in college, say you believe in God and support capitalism. It will shock most of your class mates, which in turn will make you a true rebel amongst all the non-conformist conformists.

This is for all you Batman fans.
And Turner Classic Movie fans as well.

Did you know that God gave rock n' roll to you? I found this out last night while listening to the rock stylings of KISS. For years rock n' roll has been labeled the Devil's music, but KISS put this theory to rest with their song "God Gave Rock N' Roll To You." So, if you are a Christian that wasn't allowed to listen to rock n' roll music, now's the time to put your fears to rest, go out and buy a rock album. Because rock n' roll is not the Devil's music, it's God's music. Thank you KISS for putting an end to this much heated debate.

And while you are buying a rock album, you should pick up a copy of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, which features the hit song by KISS, "God Gave Rock N' Roll To You." That is all!

I drank a Mountain Dew last night. Not bad.
Here's a decent link to a Mountain Dew site.
www.mountaindew.com

The Dukes of Hazzard is one bad ass movie! I had the extreme privilige of seeing this movie last night and I was blown away by how bad ass it was. It was so bad ass that it made XXX look like Oliver Twist. I used to think nothing could top XXX in its bad assedness, but lo and behold The Dukes of Hazzard came along, and took the top spot on the 10 Most Bad Ass Films Ever Made. Here is my new revised list of the top 10 Bad Ass Movies of All Time:

1. The Dukes of Hazzard
2. XXX
3. Stealth
4. The Matrix trilogy
5. Chronicles of Riddick
6. Mortal Kombat
7. Constantine
8. Blade: Trinity
9. Mission to Mars
10. Fight Club

Forget the critics, The Dukes of Hazzard is the best movie I've ever seen.

ARE YOU A GIRL?

Excuse me! Can I ask you a question? Are you a girl? Because if you are, I would like to take you out to a dinner and a movie; afterwards we can go to my apartment and watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. Wouldn't that be delightful? However, this lovely transaction can only take place if and only if you are a girl. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with being gay, I just don't swing that way. I am 95% certain that you a girl, but in this day and age it is hard to tell. One can never be 100% certain, so could you please specify as to which sex you are. I once made the mistake of confusing a man for being a woman. I saw him at a bar, he had long hair, a nice rack, and luscious red lips. I offered to buy him a drink, he accepted. Then I asked him if he would like to go back to my place; he then told me he was married to a beautiful wife. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe I mistook a man for being a woman. Ever since then I have been extremely cautious when approaching women in bars. If you are a girl, then you are without a doubt one of the loveliest females I have ever met in my entire life. If not, then it was a pleasure meeting you sir. So......... ARE YOU A GIRL?

The Greatest Sherlock Holmes of them all!!! If you have never seen Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes, then you are missing out on a lot my friends. He is far and away the best

Sherlock Holmes ever. He played the detective 14 times on film from 1939 to 1946. Each of the 14 entries in the Sherlock Holmes series are highly entertaining films, even the lesser ones are interesting, if not inspired. If you have the chance check out these five Sherlock Holmes films:

The Scarlet Claw

Pearl of Death

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

The Spider Woman

Hound of the Baskervilles

Rob Cohen: Shitty Director or a Misunderstood Auteur?

Last night, I saw the latest Rob Cohen film, Stealth. Needless to say, it was a typical Rob Cohen film filled with bad dialogue, huge explosion, needless romantic subplots, and people displaying super human powers. This film was so ridiculous that it was impossible to despise it. You wish you could hate it; you want to hate it, but it's so asinine in its execution that you can't help but to laugh. Its very much like Rob Cohen's other films. XXX is essentially a two hour Mountain Dew commercial with huge explosions, slutty women, bad acting, and bad ass stunts scattered through out. It's story line makes no sense, the characters are complete idiots, and at times it is so embarrassing to watch that you want to kill yourself. Yet, despite all its imperfections, it is quintessential viewing. Which begs the question is Rob Cohen a shitty director or a misunderstood auteur? I would argue the latter, as it seems that Cohen is incapable of making a film that doesn't entertain (if for the wrong reasons.) As bad as Stealth was, it never gave me the urge to gauge out my eyeballs like the painfully bad Van Helsing. Instead, I was in a constant state of laughter. Here are some memorable highlights from the film:

1. Pointless romantic interlude in Thailand. In the middle of the movie, the three stealth pilots played by Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, and Jamie Foxx are on vacation in Thailand. This sequence serves no purpose what so ever in the film. In fact, the only reason it exists is to show Jessica Biel in a bikini and for Jamie Foxx to make snappy one liners, while discussing military secrets in public. Its ten minutes of sheer pointlessness.

2. Close ups of innocent civilians every time the team goes on a mission. Everytime, the team was sent on a mission, there would be countless close ups of innocent civilains to emphasizes how dangerous their mission was. If they made one screw up, the lives of many innocent people would be put in jeopardy. Cohen uses this device in practically every other scene.

3. There is a sequence in which Jessica Biel ejects from her stealth, while she is doing a free fall, debris from her sleath rains down on her. This is roughly a five minute scene and she some how manages to talk the entire sequence, narrating her plight to the command center. She talks, talks, talks, and despite being in such a horrible plight, she manages to remain coherent the entire time. The people at the command center understand her perfectly. She never once breaks up, nor does she run out of breath, despite falling at a super fast speed, being hit by fiery debris, and having her chute burn away by the derbis, she remains calm. Its Rob Cohen at his idiotic best.

4. Explosions. There is a sequence in which there is an explosion in an Alaskan hangar, causing many men and their trucks to go flying through the air. The best thing about this scene is that you see the men go flying from multiple angles, therefore you get to analyze just how unnatural their flight pattern is; it's obvious that they are being pulled by wires. This explosion is sheer genius on the part of Cohen. Not only is it comedic, but it gives the audience the explosion to top all explosions.

5. Jessica Biel as Rambo. Towards the middle of the film the Jessica Biel character finds herself stranded in North Korea. She is armed with only with a semi-automatic gun, yet despite this major handicap, decides to take on the North Korean army. It is a credit to her badassedness that she WINS. That's right, like every one's favorite unstable Vietnam vet John Rambo, Jessica Biel kicks ass. She even lets out a war cry when she fires her gun at the pursuing North Korean army.

These are my thoughts as of now. If I have more to say about Stealth, I will do so in a future post.