I'm so excited that the Bears are 5 - 6, that means they have a shot at making the play offs. Since, they have replaced that no good Brian Griese for the time tested Rex Grossman that means they are sure to get in as a wild card. Unlike Griese, Grossman has played in the post-season, he knows the pressure that comes with a play off game. Ladies and gentlemen the Bears are for real! Just like they were the last two seasons and in 1985. Do you remember the 1985 Bears? Us Chicago Bears fans can never forget what a magical year that was. Do you remember Super Bowl XX? I sure as hell can ever forget the sight of seeing Jim McMahon rushing for two touchdowns. This was a magical team folks. I mean, the Packers never went 15-1, hence, that means the 1985 Bears were the best team EVER! I know sports writers will tell you that the 1972 Dolphins were the best team ever, because they went undefeated and this years Patriots might be the greatest team ever assembled, but that is all hogwash. Did the 1972 Dolphins have the deadly 46 zone defense? I think not. Do the 2007 Patriots have Walter Payton on their team? NO! When you factor in these two equations one is forced to admit that the 1985 Bears were the greatest team of all time. Far more fearsome that the 1996 Packers, who were just frauds posing as champions.

PS: I know a few weeks ago I was excited that the Bears benched Grossman in favor of Brian Griese, well since then I've come to the realization that Grossman is the quarterback for us. He's learned a lot since coming off the bench and it wouldn't surprise me if he gets voted into the pro-bowl and wins league MVP. He was totally robbed of both honors last year.

Tony Romo is delightful!

Tomorrow Tony Romo takes on Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers, it's bound to be a great game. As we all know Tony Romo is from Wisconsin, which means he MUST be a Brett Favre fan. How can he not be? After all he's from Wisconsin and as we all know all Wisconsinites love Brett Favre. And Bart Starr. But Tony Romo didn't grow up watching Bart Starr, he grew up watching Brett Favre, because Tony Romo is from Wisconsin and all Wisconsinites watch Brett Favre.
The Romo/Favre comparison is inevitable seeing as how Tony Romo grew up in Wisconsin, but Romo reminds me more of that delightful pirate Jack Sparrow, than he does Brett Favre.
Like Jack Sparrow you can't tell if he is ad libbing a play or if that is how he planned it all along; like that botched snap against St. Louis, in which the center snapped the ball over his head and he evaded defenders to get the coveted first down. That was very Jack Sparrowesque. It was delightful. Not since Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End has something brought such a huge smile to my face. Did I mention Tony Romo is from Wisconsin? And that he loves Brett Favre? I did. It's staggers the mind that a small town Wisconsin kid could achieve so much success in so little time. It's kind of like how Jack Sparrow went from being a lovable misfit to being the captain of his own pirate ship. Delightful!
I hope there is a fourth Pirates film, that way Tony Romo can be cast as Jack Sparrow's delightful younger brother Jake. That would be awesome. Not as awesome as Wisconsin's own Tony Romo taking on Green Bay legend Brett Favre in the NFC Champsionship game, but close.

Why is it no one remembers my name?

Hi ya Folks! Remember me? No! It's me Jackie Vernon! Does that name ring a bell just a little bit? Not even a tiny tad? C'mon folks, it's me Jackie Vernon, I did the voice of Frosty the fuckin' snowman for chrissake! Now do you remember? No, John Goodman did the voice of Frosty in that awful sequel Frosty's Winter Wonderland. I on other hand am the real deal. I'm Jackie Vernon. C'mon, why is so hard to remember my name? I brought joy to millions of little children with my definitive interpretation of every one's favorite magical snowman. Not only did I the original Frosty, but I did a sequel called Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July, in which Rudolph and Frosty (me) join a circus. Frosty also has a snow wife and two snow children in that movie. It's pretty good, just like me, Jackie Vernon.

Are you the one they call Beowulf?

Every time I see the preview for the upcoming movie Beowulf, I want to punch something. Not since Van Helsing has a trailer for a movie filled me with such murderous rage. Every time I hear the line, "Are you the one they call Beowulf?" my face turns red, I begin to foam at the mouth, and then start tearing apart my room. The film looks horrible. The character animation looks creepy, just like Robert Zemeckis' other CGI crapfest The Polar Express. These characters look like mannequins. Their eyes are lifeless, their body gestures are stiff, and their faces convey very little emotion. Though knowing how desperate moviegoers are for entertainment, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if this unwatchable mess grossed over 200 million dollars.
It's sad to know that they are a bunch of "bros" out there who genuinely want to see this film. I could just see them with their Seattle Seahawks jerseys on, watching the TV when the preview comes on and thinking, "Wow, this movie looks bad ass! Go Seahawks!" Then breaking into tears when the Seahawks lose yet another game.
Robert Zemeckis needs to be stopped!

Why are sports writers such idiots?

A few days ago I watched the ESPN show Around the Horn, and one of the topics that came up was whether or not the Packers are the best team in the NFC. If you have not seen Around the Horn it is a show in which four sport writers debate on various sports topics and are awarded points if they can make valid arguments. Any ways, practically all of the sports writers dismissed the Packers mainly because they haven't played any tough teams. Which team did the pick as being the elite NFC team? The New York Giants, which begs the question: What teams have the Giants beaten? Let's see: the Redskins, the Eagles, the Jets, the Falcons, the 49ers, and the Miami Dolphins. Out of all the six teams listed above, only the Redskins having a winning record. Every one has been talking about how much the Giants defense has improved, but has it really improved? Is it really a surprise that the Giants shut down the 49ers and the Dolphins offenses?
These teams don't exactly have great offenses, yet all these sports writers act as if the Giants have beaten the Patriots or the Colts. How can these sports writers say the Packers are not for real because they haven't beaten "any body," yet keep heaping all sorts of praise on the Giants who haven't beaten "any body" either? I hate sports writers. Their way of determining whether a team is good or not is to look at how well the team performed the previous season. Therefore because the Bears made it to the Super Bowl in the previous season, it only stands to reason they are going to be good this season. Where as the Packers were 8-8 last season, therefore there's no way they are going to make the play offs. MORONS! Sports writers know about as much as the average fan, yet they get paid far more for their useless tidbits. OH WELL! I'm just happy to see the Packers are 6 -1, regardless of whether or not they are the best team in the NFC.