Friday, July 07, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was not the bad ass film I was expecting it to be.

Last night, I put on my best pirate outfit and went to see the midnight showing of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I loved the first film SO MUCH! I remember I saw the first film three weeks after it came out after hearing good things from my best friend. I went and was pleasantly surprised. I loved the film so much that I saw it five times in the theatre and bought anything that had Johnny Depp's face pasted on it. When I heard about the sequel, I was psyched. I HAD to see the midnight show. You're not a true Pirates fan, unless you go to the midnight show. I decided I would go to the midnight show dressed up as a pirate, so I went to a costume store and bought a pirate outfit. I was amazed at how many people dressed up. I arrived three hours early and spent most of the time hitting on a group of busty maidens. One maiden gave me her number and later on we walked the deck, if you know what I mean. Ha Ha!

Midnight finally came; after waiting three hours the opening credits began to roll. There were enthusiastic cheers and applause from the audience. A few people even cracked a few jokes in the first couple of minutes. Then the first hour rolled by, so far I wasn't impressed by what I was seeing. It's not that it was bad; it just wasn't the same experience I had with the first film. However, it is a two and a half hour film, which gives it plenty of time to improve. Then another half hour rolled by; it seemed like an eternity. I kept checking my watch, it was 1:30, which meant I had another hour to go. "Maybe it will pick up in the last hour," I said to myself. It didn't. I got so bored with the film, that I went out for a cigarette. What happened? The first Pirates was bad ass, this one was just bad. I mean...it wasn't bad, it had it's good points, but compared to the wonderful original it didn't live up to my standards. After seeing Dead Man's Chest, I don't have any desire to see the third Pirates of the Caribbean.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Read this guy's comments (below link). This guy hits it on the head, as does, oddly enough, Duane Dudek.

http://pwbeat.publishersweekly.com/blog/2006/07/09/potc-ii-the-death-of-hollywood/

Let's be dark. IT'S OUR EMPIRE. You're just stupid Goggins. If you were smart you would like it. Us fans are smart, critics are stupid. Lighten up. It's a great movie.


I can't even see this piece of crap growing on me. And I went in EXPECTING it to suck. It couldn't even meet my low expectations.

I liked CONGO and hated this. How is that possible?

Anonymous said...

Hold the phone. That is a CHICK reviewing Pirates. WOW!!!...And I don't mean that in a positive sense.

Anonymous said...

But what exactly is a 'good' movie? Can we ever TRULY define this? Is it a movie at all? Are we even REALLY humans?

Do any of us really even exist? What is art? Are we art? Is art art?

Anonymous said...

This movie was SOOOO much fun. I don't get you people. How can you hate Piratez II? Johny Depp is so hot. I want to have his children, even if he is old enough to be my father. And Orlando Broom..grrrrrrr. I love the first Piratez. It was so good. I'm going to see it again with my boyfriend on Friday, then afterwards we will go to Coldstone. OH MY GOD!

Dave said...

THAT KRAKEN WAS TOTALLY B.A. AND I WAS SO HAPPY I STAYED FOR THE CREDITS TO SEE THE DOG LIVED!!!!!!!!!


Oh wait but they kill the chief when the drums stop and the drums stop at the end of the movie after they make the dog chief. Maybe we should've thought that one out...

Anonymous said...

OH...MY...GAWD!!!!

Me and my ((((((BOYFRIEND))))) went to Coldstone after the movie too!!

That is SOOOOOOOO wierd!

My (((((BOYFRIEND))))) doesn't feel like seeing Devil Wears Prada, so I have a feeling I'll be seeing Pirates again.

I guess I'll see Prada with my Mom.

But he'll still be my (((((BOYFRIEND))))) tommorrow. And the next day...and the next day...and the next day.

My (((((BOYFRIEND))))) liked it, so I guess I do too.

Anonymous said...

I'm in this movie. It sucks.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god!!!! Johhny Depp??!!??!!

I've seen all your recent movies. You are my fave actor!!! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is listed as one of my favorite movies

Yeah, I agree that Pirates is bad. But you somehow made it work.

What's it like to work with Tim Burton. Is he wierd????

And, no, I'm not seeing anyone special. wink, wink, hint, hint ;)

Anonymous said...

So, Dave. You bring up an interesting point. The dog does have its own plotline, much like every person and prop in the film. Does his plotline end here. Guess we'll wait and see (along with all the other contrivances the producers deemed neccesary for plugging the third, ahem, I mean.. for audience enjoyment)

Anonymous said...

Johhny???

Anonymous said...

Did you read my post, Johnny???