He's drinking from a blue bottle!
OH MY GOD! That guy is drinking from a blue bottle. If you recall the man who raped my friend Tami was drinking from a blue bottle of beer the night it happened and here is standing in front of me. And who should this mystery man turn out to be? My friend Sylvia's boyfriend. I can't believe it. How could he possibly do such a horrendous thing? I was wondering why Tami wouldn't make eye contact with the guy when we stopped by at his apartment to say hi. But when I saw the blue bottle I knew why she was so hesitant to walk in his apartment. Terrible. This broke poor Sylvia's heart to know that her boyfriend was a drunken rapist. Poor Tami, when the jackass approach her, she panicked, ran down the stairs, lost her footing and lost her baby in the process. It would have been such a lovely baby, even if it was unwanted. If one thing positive came from this experience is that it made Tami, Sylvia and I closer. WOW!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Henry Higgins is the greatest character EVER!!!!
I watched the movie My Fair Lady yesterday and realized that Henry Higgins is the greatest character of all time. Why? Because he's such a mean-spirited prick. He treats every one around him like crap, while they constantly kiss his ass. It's awesome. The only sad thing about Henry Higgins is that he kind of goes soft at the end. Why do self-centered pricks in movies have a change of heart? Seriously, Ebenezer Scrooge was such an awesome character, then those friggin' ghosts had to show him how "wrong" he was and then he became a nice guy. While Henry Higgins doesn't necessarily become a nice guy at the end of My Fair Lady, he does allow himself to become attached to a woman. DAMN HAPPY ENDINGS! Why can't all films end with every one being miserable? Or at least being happy in their self centered world? Let's face it, why open up to people when they are bound to disappoint you one way or another? Henry Higgins had it correct, but then the writers decided he must have a change of heart. OH WELL!
I watched the movie My Fair Lady yesterday and realized that Henry Higgins is the greatest character of all time. Why? Because he's such a mean-spirited prick. He treats every one around him like crap, while they constantly kiss his ass. It's awesome. The only sad thing about Henry Higgins is that he kind of goes soft at the end. Why do self-centered pricks in movies have a change of heart? Seriously, Ebenezer Scrooge was such an awesome character, then those friggin' ghosts had to show him how "wrong" he was and then he became a nice guy. While Henry Higgins doesn't necessarily become a nice guy at the end of My Fair Lady, he does allow himself to become attached to a woman. DAMN HAPPY ENDINGS! Why can't all films end with every one being miserable? Or at least being happy in their self centered world? Let's face it, why open up to people when they are bound to disappoint you one way or another? Henry Higgins had it correct, but then the writers decided he must have a change of heart. OH WELL!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
This movie is so bad that it's good. I know because I've seen so many films that I know when a film is bad, and when it is good, and when it is so bad that it is good. This movie is so bad that it is good. Ha! Don't you love my intellect? I know everything about movies, because I've watched so many. I've also seen a few Academy Awards ceremonies, therefore I know what quality filmmaking is. This is definitely not quality filmmaking as the cinematography is not beautiful. The acting is atrocious and the direction is flat. It's not nearly as good as that other movie I saw, in which the cinematography was beautiful, even though it was a war film. If a film has bad cinematography it is automatically bad. I know what good cinematography is as I have watched lots of movies with good cinematography. I know what good acting is, because I have seen many Oscar winning performances in movies. I know everything, because I have seen everything.
I hate wannabe film critics, people who spend to much time watching movies that they automatically think that makes them qualified to criticize films. Granted, every one is a critic in some form or another, but most people don't pretend to know about the technical aspects filmmaking. The reason most filmgoers hate a movie is they didn't connect with the characters or story. Where as the wannabe film critics tries to find fault in the technical aspects of filmmaking, such as the editing, lighting, cinematography, etc. Therefore in their smug minds if a film has a bad lighting, it must be a bad movie. Or if the cinematography isn't breathtaking, they don't feel it is worth watching. Therefore a movie like Carnival of Souls would be an atrocious piece of garbage to the wannabe film critic because the lightning nor the cinematography are particularly "good." They wouldn't look at the factors that went into the making of the film(low budget, limited resources) nor the story being told, but instead hate it on the grounds that it is technically incompetent. In their minds a movie like Van Helsing would be superior to Carnival of Souls, because it is far more technically competent. That is my rant for the day. You might say its my special "Oscar" rant.
I hate wannabe film critics, people who spend to much time watching movies that they automatically think that makes them qualified to criticize films. Granted, every one is a critic in some form or another, but most people don't pretend to know about the technical aspects filmmaking. The reason most filmgoers hate a movie is they didn't connect with the characters or story. Where as the wannabe film critics tries to find fault in the technical aspects of filmmaking, such as the editing, lighting, cinematography, etc. Therefore in their smug minds if a film has a bad lighting, it must be a bad movie. Or if the cinematography isn't breathtaking, they don't feel it is worth watching. Therefore a movie like Carnival of Souls would be an atrocious piece of garbage to the wannabe film critic because the lightning nor the cinematography are particularly "good." They wouldn't look at the factors that went into the making of the film(low budget, limited resources) nor the story being told, but instead hate it on the grounds that it is technically incompetent. In their minds a movie like Van Helsing would be superior to Carnival of Souls, because it is far more technically competent. That is my rant for the day. You might say its my special "Oscar" rant.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I just won an Oscar!
Wow, I won an Oscar for Best Purchase By Random Movie goer. I'm so thrilled! I recently bought a bucket of popcorn, and as luck would have it, I won an award for it. I'm so cool! I called up my would be girlfriend Terry to tell her the good news; she told me to "piss off," hung up the phone, and wounded by already fragile heart in the process. Oh well, at least I got an award. Maybe this will lead to better things? Maybe I will be the star in the next Peter Jackson movie! Maybe I will be Paris Hilton's future ex-boyfriend! That would rule!
Editor's note: This guy is delusion. The "Oscar" in question was actually a cheap GI Joe action figure the dumbass saw lying on the concession stand counter. The part about the girl telling him to "piss off" is true.
Wow, I won an Oscar for Best Purchase By Random Movie goer. I'm so thrilled! I recently bought a bucket of popcorn, and as luck would have it, I won an award for it. I'm so cool! I called up my would be girlfriend Terry to tell her the good news; she told me to "piss off," hung up the phone, and wounded by already fragile heart in the process. Oh well, at least I got an award. Maybe this will lead to better things? Maybe I will be the star in the next Peter Jackson movie! Maybe I will be Paris Hilton's future ex-boyfriend! That would rule!
Editor's note: This guy is delusion. The "Oscar" in question was actually a cheap GI Joe action figure the dumbass saw lying on the concession stand counter. The part about the girl telling him to "piss off" is true.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
In more personal news:
The Marcus Westown is closing today; thus putting an end to my 7-year Marcus career. I have absolutely no desire to continue in the movie theatre business. The very thought makes me cringe. The Westown was a pretty nice play to work at. I got along with most of the staff, it was the customers that annoyed the living hell out of movie. The worst customers are the ones that attempt to engage in small talk while buying snacks, here is a typical exchange:
"Have you seen Epic Movie?"
"No!"
"You work at movie theatre and you haven't seen Epic Movie?"
"Nope."
"Wow!"
(Awkward pause)
Thank god I no longer have to put up with that! It was a decent run, certainly not as painful as North Shore Cinemas, but that is a different story.
The Marcus Westown is closing today; thus putting an end to my 7-year Marcus career. I have absolutely no desire to continue in the movie theatre business. The very thought makes me cringe. The Westown was a pretty nice play to work at. I got along with most of the staff, it was the customers that annoyed the living hell out of movie. The worst customers are the ones that attempt to engage in small talk while buying snacks, here is a typical exchange:
"Have you seen Epic Movie?"
"No!"
"You work at movie theatre and you haven't seen Epic Movie?"
"Nope."
"Wow!"
(Awkward pause)
Thank god I no longer have to put up with that! It was a decent run, certainly not as painful as North Shore Cinemas, but that is a different story.
The Academy Awards need to go away!
In my last post I said wasting money on movies was lame, however I realized there is something far lamer than movie going and that is the Academy Awards. The sole reason that the Academy Awards exists is so Hollywood celebrities can pat each other on the back for a job well done. LAME! In the old days of Hollywood the ceremony was small and wasn't viewed by too many people, now it's become a huge phenomenon viewed by billions of people.
The Academy no longer honors excellence in films, rather they just want to sell movies to the audience. Therefore, when a movie is released on DVD it can read, "Winner of 4 Academy Awards, yada yada." Usually, the Academy gives awards to the least deserving of movies.
Here is a list of many undeserving films that have won an award:
Good Will Hunting (Best Original Screenplay and Supporting Actor) Original? What? Robin Williams gives his usual annoying uplifting performance as a tough psychiatrist. Why not just give him the award for Patch Adams, it's essentially the same performance. It's a truly sad to know that Ben Affleck has some how won on Oscar for doing absolutely nothing!
A Beautiful Mind (Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actress, etc.) Stanley Kubrick? NO!
Martin Scorsese? NO! Ron Howard? HELL YEAH! How is it real directors like Kubrick and Scorsese have never gotten anything, but Ron Howard one of the most bland directors in history is bestowed the "sacred" Oscar. Rubbish!
Forrest Gump (Best Picture, Actor, Director, etc.) One of the WORST movies EVER! There are people who LOVE this movie, but let's look at the facts, its just not that good. For some reason Tom Hanks talking rea...a...a....lll...y slow was worthy of an Academy Award. But then again, The Academy loves honoring over hyped actors like Hanks.
Monster's Ball (Best Actress) It's great that Hollywood finally recognized an African-American actress in a film role, but couldn't it have been an actress that isn't Halle Berry, who gives possibly one of the most laughable performances in film history. I guess if the Oscar was for "Best Over-acting by an overpaid actress" then Berry earned it. Oh well!
The Greatest Show on Earth (Best Picture) This movie is highly entertaining, but in all honesty it's not very good. It's a rather corny behind the scenes look at the circus which features various subplots including: a clown wanted for murder, a love triangle between the manager and two acrobats, a train wreck, and evil money grubbing businessmen out to destroy the circus. There were so many better films that came out in 1952, yet this won the top prize. Good job Academy!
Titanic (11 Academy Awards?) How did this win so many Academy Awards? It's essentially your standard tragic love story set aboard the Titanic; there's nothing new and original about it. The screenplay could have come out of the Great Depression, yet people LOVE this movie. The only reason it won the top prize was because it was the highest grossing film of all time!
Chicago (Best Picture, Supporting Actress, etc.) I liked Chicago, but c'mon practically every film nominated that year was infinitely better.
Rocky (Best Picture) The Academy loves uplifting movies, no matter how by the numbers they are. It's not even the best Sly movie, that would be First Blood. Rambo kicks ass! If we had more men like Rambo, we would have won the Vietnam War, or so says the might Sly Stallone.
I'm getting a headache thinking about this crap! The point is: The Academy Awards suck! They have lost credibility in the last decade by consistently honoring extremely forgettable movies.
Don't waste your time this years watching this garbage, stare at a wall instead, it is far more interesting and far less irritating.
In my last post I said wasting money on movies was lame, however I realized there is something far lamer than movie going and that is the Academy Awards. The sole reason that the Academy Awards exists is so Hollywood celebrities can pat each other on the back for a job well done. LAME! In the old days of Hollywood the ceremony was small and wasn't viewed by too many people, now it's become a huge phenomenon viewed by billions of people.
The Academy no longer honors excellence in films, rather they just want to sell movies to the audience. Therefore, when a movie is released on DVD it can read, "Winner of 4 Academy Awards, yada yada." Usually, the Academy gives awards to the least deserving of movies.
Here is a list of many undeserving films that have won an award:
Good Will Hunting (Best Original Screenplay and Supporting Actor) Original? What? Robin Williams gives his usual annoying uplifting performance as a tough psychiatrist. Why not just give him the award for Patch Adams, it's essentially the same performance. It's a truly sad to know that Ben Affleck has some how won on Oscar for doing absolutely nothing!
A Beautiful Mind (Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actress, etc.) Stanley Kubrick? NO!
Martin Scorsese? NO! Ron Howard? HELL YEAH! How is it real directors like Kubrick and Scorsese have never gotten anything, but Ron Howard one of the most bland directors in history is bestowed the "sacred" Oscar. Rubbish!
Forrest Gump (Best Picture, Actor, Director, etc.) One of the WORST movies EVER! There are people who LOVE this movie, but let's look at the facts, its just not that good. For some reason Tom Hanks talking rea...a...a....lll...y slow was worthy of an Academy Award. But then again, The Academy loves honoring over hyped actors like Hanks.
Monster's Ball (Best Actress) It's great that Hollywood finally recognized an African-American actress in a film role, but couldn't it have been an actress that isn't Halle Berry, who gives possibly one of the most laughable performances in film history. I guess if the Oscar was for "Best Over-acting by an overpaid actress" then Berry earned it. Oh well!
The Greatest Show on Earth (Best Picture) This movie is highly entertaining, but in all honesty it's not very good. It's a rather corny behind the scenes look at the circus which features various subplots including: a clown wanted for murder, a love triangle between the manager and two acrobats, a train wreck, and evil money grubbing businessmen out to destroy the circus. There were so many better films that came out in 1952, yet this won the top prize. Good job Academy!
Titanic (11 Academy Awards?) How did this win so many Academy Awards? It's essentially your standard tragic love story set aboard the Titanic; there's nothing new and original about it. The screenplay could have come out of the Great Depression, yet people LOVE this movie. The only reason it won the top prize was because it was the highest grossing film of all time!
Chicago (Best Picture, Supporting Actress, etc.) I liked Chicago, but c'mon practically every film nominated that year was infinitely better.
Rocky (Best Picture) The Academy loves uplifting movies, no matter how by the numbers they are. It's not even the best Sly movie, that would be First Blood. Rambo kicks ass! If we had more men like Rambo, we would have won the Vietnam War, or so says the might Sly Stallone.
I'm getting a headache thinking about this crap! The point is: The Academy Awards suck! They have lost credibility in the last decade by consistently honoring extremely forgettable movies.
Don't waste your time this years watching this garbage, stare at a wall instead, it is far more interesting and far less irritating.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Movies are lame!
You know what's lame? Movies! You know what's lamer than movies? People who spend crap loads of money to watch a lame movie! For instance, a few months ago "enlightened" college students decided that it was well worth spending $8.75 on Jack Ass 2, even though they could essentially watch the damn show on MTV for nothing. What's so lame about this you might ask? For starters these baseball cap wearing, nacho loving dudes and their shallow girlfriends are wasting time and money watching a group of 30 something year-olds act like high schoolers! Wow, that is so cool! It's so awesome to see grown men act like children! You know what's even more awesome is the fact that they get paid crap loads of money to do it. It gives me a great feeling to know that a group of no-talent dillweeds can make more money in a year than most people make in a lifetime for acting like children. KICK ASS! Maybe I should make my own Jack Ass video, it could make me a millionaire.
Recently, moviegoers young and old alike flocked to see the Jumanji rip off A Night at the Museum. The biggest irony about this film is that it's destined to be forgotten, despite having a huge box office. I'm sure many people will buy it when it comes out DVD; but I'm also certain that it will collect dust on many shelves! The DVD will contain all sorts of special features that no one will watch, but will have been the main reason why they bought it.
I hate movies! OK, this a huge exaggeration, but I'm not in love with them like I used to be. I think the age of the DVD has killed the magic movies once had, because we all know how they're made. It's hard to get excited over a film like Peter Jackson's dreadful remake of King Kong, because as good as the effects might have been, every one knows how they were done. There's no magic behind it, instead it's all computers!
You know what's lame? Movies! You know what's lamer than movies? People who spend crap loads of money to watch a lame movie! For instance, a few months ago "enlightened" college students decided that it was well worth spending $8.75 on Jack Ass 2, even though they could essentially watch the damn show on MTV for nothing. What's so lame about this you might ask? For starters these baseball cap wearing, nacho loving dudes and their shallow girlfriends are wasting time and money watching a group of 30 something year-olds act like high schoolers! Wow, that is so cool! It's so awesome to see grown men act like children! You know what's even more awesome is the fact that they get paid crap loads of money to do it. It gives me a great feeling to know that a group of no-talent dillweeds can make more money in a year than most people make in a lifetime for acting like children. KICK ASS! Maybe I should make my own Jack Ass video, it could make me a millionaire.
Recently, moviegoers young and old alike flocked to see the Jumanji rip off A Night at the Museum. The biggest irony about this film is that it's destined to be forgotten, despite having a huge box office. I'm sure many people will buy it when it comes out DVD; but I'm also certain that it will collect dust on many shelves! The DVD will contain all sorts of special features that no one will watch, but will have been the main reason why they bought it.
I hate movies! OK, this a huge exaggeration, but I'm not in love with them like I used to be. I think the age of the DVD has killed the magic movies once had, because we all know how they're made. It's hard to get excited over a film like Peter Jackson's dreadful remake of King Kong, because as good as the effects might have been, every one knows how they were done. There's no magic behind it, instead it's all computers!
Monday, February 05, 2007
EM-BEAR-ASSING!
I'm happy that my gut feeling was wrong and the Bears lost. It was great to see Rex GROSSman throw two interceptions and to see the Colts tear apart the over-rated Bears defense. The only thing that pissed me off was the Colts inability to score touchdowns in the second half. They had plenty of opportunities to put the game away, but kept letting the damn Bears hang around. Though, the main reason why this upset me is because I was at a bar and when ever the Colts scored a touchdown I was given a free shot. If the Colts would have gotten more touchdowns, I would have gotten more shots. All in all it was a good night!
I'm happy that my gut feeling was wrong and the Bears lost. It was great to see Rex GROSSman throw two interceptions and to see the Colts tear apart the over-rated Bears defense. The only thing that pissed me off was the Colts inability to score touchdowns in the second half. They had plenty of opportunities to put the game away, but kept letting the damn Bears hang around. Though, the main reason why this upset me is because I was at a bar and when ever the Colts scored a touchdown I was given a free shot. If the Colts would have gotten more touchdowns, I would have gotten more shots. All in all it was a good night!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
My thoughts one the Super Bowl (for the two people who care).
Why is that when ever the Colts are favored to win a game, something in my gut tells me they are going to lose? I don't really care for the Colts, but damn it I'd rather see them win a Super Bowl than the Bears. However, given the Colts history for blowing big games, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if Peyton Manning has crappy game against the Bears over hyped defense. Hopefully, my gut feeling is wrong and the Bears lose big time.
The other thing that gives me a bad feeling is the fact that Sean Salisbury picked the Colts to win. When ever, Salisbury picks a team to win they usually lose. He picked the Aints (I mean the Saints) to beat the Bears and we all know how that game turned out.
If the Bears lose I can just see the hilarious headlines now, "EM-BEAR-ASSING" or my favorite one, "GROSS MAN!" And if the Colts lose I can just see the all the damn sportwriters making excuses for Peyton Manning, "The Colts defense really dropped the ball this time around. It's not Manning's fault he threw three interceptions, his defense gave him too much time to make mistakes."
Why is that when ever the Colts are favored to win a game, something in my gut tells me they are going to lose? I don't really care for the Colts, but damn it I'd rather see them win a Super Bowl than the Bears. However, given the Colts history for blowing big games, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if Peyton Manning has crappy game against the Bears over hyped defense. Hopefully, my gut feeling is wrong and the Bears lose big time.
The other thing that gives me a bad feeling is the fact that Sean Salisbury picked the Colts to win. When ever, Salisbury picks a team to win they usually lose. He picked the Aints (I mean the Saints) to beat the Bears and we all know how that game turned out.
If the Bears lose I can just see the hilarious headlines now, "EM-BEAR-ASSING" or my favorite one, "GROSS MAN!" And if the Colts lose I can just see the all the damn sportwriters making excuses for Peyton Manning, "The Colts defense really dropped the ball this time around. It's not Manning's fault he threw three interceptions, his defense gave him too much time to make mistakes."
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