I just won an Oscar!

Wow, I won an Oscar for Best Purchase By Random Movie goer. I'm so thrilled! I recently bought a bucket of popcorn, and as luck would have it, I won an award for it. I'm so cool! I called up my would be girlfriend Terry to tell her the good news; she told me to "piss off," hung up the phone, and wounded by already fragile heart in the process. Oh well, at least I got an award. Maybe this will lead to better things? Maybe I will be the star in the next Peter Jackson movie! Maybe I will be Paris Hilton's future ex-boyfriend! That would rule!

Editor's note: This guy is delusion. The "Oscar" in question was actually a cheap GI Joe action figure the dumbass saw lying on the concession stand counter. The part about the girl telling him to "piss off" is true.