When people talk about the Batman movies, they usually make the absurd claim that Tim Burton's travesty is the best of all the Batman adaptations. This is blasphemy, for any true fan of Batman will tell you that Joel Schumachers 1995 masterpiece Batman Forever is far and away the best Batman movie EVER!
Do any of the dreadful Tim Burton films feature a scene with a whiny security guard and boiling acid? I think not!
Did the Christopher Nolan debacle have a scene in which Batman fights a street gang who cover their faces in neon paint? NOPE!
Where were the bat nipples in the Burton and Nolan films? Schumacher's contribution to the series will be praised for years to come, where as the Burton and Nolan films will be completely forgotten.
Where were the funny one liners in Batman, Batman Returns, and Batman Begins? The opening of Batman Forever has one of the funniest exchanges in movie history:
Alfred: Might I persuade you to take a sandwich?
Batman: I'll get drive thru!
That is soooo funny! I remember I wet myself in the theatre after hearing this exchange. It's very Jack Sparrowesque in it's delivery and I love Jack Sparrow. Haw Haw! Other great lines include:
Prostitute: That's not Batman, that's more like Batboy.
Robin: I forgot my suit.
Batman: The circus must be halfway to Metropolis by now. (Get it, because Metropolis is the home of Superman.)
Riddler: Surf's up Big Kahuna! (Jim Carrey is a true delight in this movie.)
Then there's the brilliant commentary about how television is dumbing down America. In the film the Riddler invents a device that steals peoples thoughts while they are watching television. It's amazing how much depth Batman Forever truly has as opposed to the other films in the franchise. Therefore, I urge you all to throw away your copies of Batman, Batman Returns, and Batman Begins, blow the dust off your copy of Batman Forever and pop in your DVD player, you will not be sorry!
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