I wish my girlfriend wasn't imaginary, because she would be so hot. I mean really, she would really make heads turn, but sadly she is just a figment of my imagination and no one can see her but I.
I remember when I first imagined her, it was a bright Sunday morning, the birds were chirping and then I thought to myself, "It would be so awesome to have a girlfriend." And just like that she appeared. It was a magical moment, almost as magical as that one scene in Mission to Mars in which the guy fixes the space ship with a tube of Dr. Pepper. I said, "What's your name?" She said, "I don't know, what do you want my name to be?" I said, "Sally." She said, "OK!" We went on a long walk and I told her all the heroic deeds I performed playing World of Warcraft. I told her how my Elf character Rackstack killed over 300 ogres single handedly. She was impressed. We then made out on a bench. This old couple passing by gave me an odd look, I replied, "Have you forgotten what's like to be in love?" They quickly ran away. Who are they to judge? Who are they? Fuckin' old timers! Why don't the stick to playing Bingo and leave us young lovers alone? Wait, I forgot my girlfriend is imaginary. DAMN IT! At least she's hot imaginary girlfriend. Or so I think? Actually, she's pretty average, but that's OK! She's like the Spider-Man 3 of imaginary girlfriends, not particularly good, but not bad either.
Wait, didn't I begin this post by saying my imaginary girlfriend would so hot if she was real. OOPS! My mistake!