The Minnesota Vikings: A History of Failure.

I loathe the Minnesota Vikings. My hatred for the Vikings began my freshman year of high school, when a kid named Mike transferred from Minnesota and kept bragging about how great the Vikings were. Mike was a dead ringer for Ralphie in A Christmas Story; he had the same round face, same glasses, and the same blonde hair. One day, my friends and I were talking about the Packers, when Mike walked up to us and said without a hint of irony, “The Vikings went to four Super Bowls!”
My friend Keith, trying desperately hard to contain his laughter, asked, “How many did they win?”
Mike paused for a few seconds, stuttering to come up with an acceptable answer, finally settling for, “That’s beside the point!”
Two years later the Packers would add a third Super Bowl trophy to their case, while the Vikings still had ZERO; to root for the Minnesota Vikings is an exercise in futility.
Let’s examine the hard evidence.

I. Mid-season meltdowns.
During the tenure of coaches Dennis Green and Mike Tice the Vikings were notorious for their melt downs during the regular season. The Vikings usually got off to a fast start, only to stumble midway through the season and never regain their footing in the race for a division title.

1996: The Vikings begin the season 4-0, analysts start picking them as Super Bowl favorites after the beat the Packers in the Metrodome 30-21. The Vikings look unstoppable, then they lose 7 out of their last 12 games, limp into the play offs with a 9-7 record and get beaten by the Dallas Cowboys in the Wild Card round.

1997: The Vikings get off to an 8-2 start and then miraculously lose 5 out of their last six games, finishing yet again with a 9-7 record. They beat the New York Giants in the Wild Card round, but lose to the San Francisco 49ers in the divisional round of the play offs.

2003: The Vikings appear to be Super Bowl contenders starting the season with a 6-0 record, but finish the regular season with a (SURPRISE) 9-7 record after losing to the lowly Arizona Cardinals at the very last second. The Vikings fail to make the play offs and the Green Bay Packers go instead.

2004: Daunte Culpepper has his best season ever; throwing for 39 touchdowns and only 11 interceptions, yet the Vikings only go 8-8, after getting off to a 4-1 start. The limp into the play offs, where they humiliate the Brett Favre and the Packers 31-17. The former Packers’ quarterback throws four interceptions and is the second QB in the history of the game to lose to an 8-8 team in the play offs. The Vikings then get beaten by the Philadelphia Eagles in the divisional round 27-13.

2006: The Vikings management hires a new head coach named Brad Childress and they get off to a promising 4-2 start, they are then exposed for the hopeless frauds they are by ending the season with a 6-10 record. Former NFL player and sports analysts Brian Baldinger is forced to admit that maybe he jumped the gun a little too early when he said that, “The Vikings were for real.”

II. The 1998 & 2000 NFC Championship Games
In 1998 the Minnesota Vikings fielded one of the greatest offenses of all time by scoring a then record breaking 556 points in the regular season (averaging 34.8 points a game). They clinch the NFC Conference with a 15-1 record and it seems that it is finally the Vikings year to win the Super Bowl. All they have to do is get by the upstart Atlanta Falcons in the NFC Championship game and the Lombardi trophy is theirs for the taking.
The Vikings blow a ten point lead and lose to the Falcons in over time 30-27, thus confirming their reputation as big game chokers.
In the 2000 season the Minnesota Vikings have an 11-2 record and only need to win one more game to win the number one seed in the NFC. They lose their last three games and go 11-5. However, despite this setback the Vikings do make it to the NFC Championship game where they are utterly humiliated by the New York Giants 41-0. Daunte Culpepper is 13/28 for 78 yards and three interceptions, where as the rather mediocre Kerry Collins throws five touchdowns against the Vikings defense. Two weeks later the Giants were destroyed by the Baltimore Ravens 34-7 in Super Bowl XXXV.

III. The Super Bowl losses.
In their four Super Bowl appearances the Vikings were outscored by their opponents 95-34. To put this in perspective the Packers scored more points in Super Bowl XXXI then the Vikings did in all four of their Super Bowls combined.
The 1969 Minnesota Vikings had one of the most dominant teams in the history of the game; they were ranked first in scoring with 379 points (27.1 points a game) while only giving up 133 points (9.5 points a game.) They were heavily favored to beat the Kansas City Chiefs (the same team the Packers routed 35-10 in Super Bowl I) in Super Bowl IV, only to be embarrassed by the AFL upstarts 23-7. The Viking Super Bowls only got worse from this moment on.
In the 1970s Fran Tarkenton returned to the Vikings and led them to three more Super Bowl appearances. The future Hall of Famer’s numbers were less than spectacular, in his three Super Bowl appearances Tarkenton is 46/89 for 489 yards, one touchdown, and six interceptions. His combined quarterback rating for all three losses is 43.7.
In Super Bowl VIII the Vikings lost to the Miami Dolphins 24-7 and were dominated by the Dolphins running game.
In Super Bowl IX the Vikings lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers 16-6. The score isn’t as close as it seems as the Vikings only touchdown came on a blocked punt, while their offense gained a pathetic 119 yards against the Steelers defense.
In Super Bowl XI the Vikings lost to the Oakland Raiders 32-14.

This season the Vikings were hyped up as being possible Super Bowl contenders, because of their dominant run defense and their “unstoppable” running back Adrian Peterson. As of now the Vikings are 0-2 and are currently in the middle of a quarterback crisis. It’s looking to be yet another disappointing year for Vikings fans, but then again they should be used to it by now.