I just won an Oscar!
Wow, I won an Oscar for Best Purchase By Random Movie goer. I'm so thrilled! I recently bought a bucket of popcorn, and as luck would have it, I won an award for it. I'm so cool! I called up my would be girlfriend Terry to tell her the good news; she told me to "piss off," hung up the phone, and wounded by already fragile heart in the process. Oh well, at least I got an award. Maybe this will lead to better things? Maybe I will be the star in the next Peter Jackson movie! Maybe I will be Paris Hilton's future ex-boyfriend! That would rule!
Editor's note: This guy is delusion. The "Oscar" in question was actually a cheap GI Joe action figure the dumbass saw lying on the concession stand counter. The part about the girl telling him to "piss off" is true.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
In more personal news:
The Marcus Westown is closing today; thus putting an end to my 7-year Marcus career. I have absolutely no desire to continue in the movie theatre business. The very thought makes me cringe. The Westown was a pretty nice play to work at. I got along with most of the staff, it was the customers that annoyed the living hell out of movie. The worst customers are the ones that attempt to engage in small talk while buying snacks, here is a typical exchange:
"Have you seen Epic Movie?"
"No!"
"You work at movie theatre and you haven't seen Epic Movie?"
"Nope."
"Wow!"
(Awkward pause)
Thank god I no longer have to put up with that! It was a decent run, certainly not as painful as North Shore Cinemas, but that is a different story.
The Marcus Westown is closing today; thus putting an end to my 7-year Marcus career. I have absolutely no desire to continue in the movie theatre business. The very thought makes me cringe. The Westown was a pretty nice play to work at. I got along with most of the staff, it was the customers that annoyed the living hell out of movie. The worst customers are the ones that attempt to engage in small talk while buying snacks, here is a typical exchange:
"Have you seen Epic Movie?"
"No!"
"You work at movie theatre and you haven't seen Epic Movie?"
"Nope."
"Wow!"
(Awkward pause)
Thank god I no longer have to put up with that! It was a decent run, certainly not as painful as North Shore Cinemas, but that is a different story.
The Academy Awards need to go away!
In my last post I said wasting money on movies was lame, however I realized there is something far lamer than movie going and that is the Academy Awards. The sole reason that the Academy Awards exists is so Hollywood celebrities can pat each other on the back for a job well done. LAME! In the old days of Hollywood the ceremony was small and wasn't viewed by too many people, now it's become a huge phenomenon viewed by billions of people.
The Academy no longer honors excellence in films, rather they just want to sell movies to the audience. Therefore, when a movie is released on DVD it can read, "Winner of 4 Academy Awards, yada yada." Usually, the Academy gives awards to the least deserving of movies.
Here is a list of many undeserving films that have won an award:
Good Will Hunting (Best Original Screenplay and Supporting Actor) Original? What? Robin Williams gives his usual annoying uplifting performance as a tough psychiatrist. Why not just give him the award for Patch Adams, it's essentially the same performance. It's a truly sad to know that Ben Affleck has some how won on Oscar for doing absolutely nothing!
A Beautiful Mind (Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actress, etc.) Stanley Kubrick? NO!
Martin Scorsese? NO! Ron Howard? HELL YEAH! How is it real directors like Kubrick and Scorsese have never gotten anything, but Ron Howard one of the most bland directors in history is bestowed the "sacred" Oscar. Rubbish!
Forrest Gump (Best Picture, Actor, Director, etc.) One of the WORST movies EVER! There are people who LOVE this movie, but let's look at the facts, its just not that good. For some reason Tom Hanks talking rea...a...a....lll...y slow was worthy of an Academy Award. But then again, The Academy loves honoring over hyped actors like Hanks.
Monster's Ball (Best Actress) It's great that Hollywood finally recognized an African-American actress in a film role, but couldn't it have been an actress that isn't Halle Berry, who gives possibly one of the most laughable performances in film history. I guess if the Oscar was for "Best Over-acting by an overpaid actress" then Berry earned it. Oh well!
The Greatest Show on Earth (Best Picture) This movie is highly entertaining, but in all honesty it's not very good. It's a rather corny behind the scenes look at the circus which features various subplots including: a clown wanted for murder, a love triangle between the manager and two acrobats, a train wreck, and evil money grubbing businessmen out to destroy the circus. There were so many better films that came out in 1952, yet this won the top prize. Good job Academy!
Titanic (11 Academy Awards?) How did this win so many Academy Awards? It's essentially your standard tragic love story set aboard the Titanic; there's nothing new and original about it. The screenplay could have come out of the Great Depression, yet people LOVE this movie. The only reason it won the top prize was because it was the highest grossing film of all time!
Chicago (Best Picture, Supporting Actress, etc.) I liked Chicago, but c'mon practically every film nominated that year was infinitely better.
Rocky (Best Picture) The Academy loves uplifting movies, no matter how by the numbers they are. It's not even the best Sly movie, that would be First Blood. Rambo kicks ass! If we had more men like Rambo, we would have won the Vietnam War, or so says the might Sly Stallone.
I'm getting a headache thinking about this crap! The point is: The Academy Awards suck! They have lost credibility in the last decade by consistently honoring extremely forgettable movies.
Don't waste your time this years watching this garbage, stare at a wall instead, it is far more interesting and far less irritating.
In my last post I said wasting money on movies was lame, however I realized there is something far lamer than movie going and that is the Academy Awards. The sole reason that the Academy Awards exists is so Hollywood celebrities can pat each other on the back for a job well done. LAME! In the old days of Hollywood the ceremony was small and wasn't viewed by too many people, now it's become a huge phenomenon viewed by billions of people.
The Academy no longer honors excellence in films, rather they just want to sell movies to the audience. Therefore, when a movie is released on DVD it can read, "Winner of 4 Academy Awards, yada yada." Usually, the Academy gives awards to the least deserving of movies.
Here is a list of many undeserving films that have won an award:
Good Will Hunting (Best Original Screenplay and Supporting Actor) Original? What? Robin Williams gives his usual annoying uplifting performance as a tough psychiatrist. Why not just give him the award for Patch Adams, it's essentially the same performance. It's a truly sad to know that Ben Affleck has some how won on Oscar for doing absolutely nothing!
A Beautiful Mind (Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actress, etc.) Stanley Kubrick? NO!
Martin Scorsese? NO! Ron Howard? HELL YEAH! How is it real directors like Kubrick and Scorsese have never gotten anything, but Ron Howard one of the most bland directors in history is bestowed the "sacred" Oscar. Rubbish!
Forrest Gump (Best Picture, Actor, Director, etc.) One of the WORST movies EVER! There are people who LOVE this movie, but let's look at the facts, its just not that good. For some reason Tom Hanks talking rea...a...a....lll...y slow was worthy of an Academy Award. But then again, The Academy loves honoring over hyped actors like Hanks.
Monster's Ball (Best Actress) It's great that Hollywood finally recognized an African-American actress in a film role, but couldn't it have been an actress that isn't Halle Berry, who gives possibly one of the most laughable performances in film history. I guess if the Oscar was for "Best Over-acting by an overpaid actress" then Berry earned it. Oh well!
The Greatest Show on Earth (Best Picture) This movie is highly entertaining, but in all honesty it's not very good. It's a rather corny behind the scenes look at the circus which features various subplots including: a clown wanted for murder, a love triangle between the manager and two acrobats, a train wreck, and evil money grubbing businessmen out to destroy the circus. There were so many better films that came out in 1952, yet this won the top prize. Good job Academy!
Titanic (11 Academy Awards?) How did this win so many Academy Awards? It's essentially your standard tragic love story set aboard the Titanic; there's nothing new and original about it. The screenplay could have come out of the Great Depression, yet people LOVE this movie. The only reason it won the top prize was because it was the highest grossing film of all time!
Chicago (Best Picture, Supporting Actress, etc.) I liked Chicago, but c'mon practically every film nominated that year was infinitely better.
Rocky (Best Picture) The Academy loves uplifting movies, no matter how by the numbers they are. It's not even the best Sly movie, that would be First Blood. Rambo kicks ass! If we had more men like Rambo, we would have won the Vietnam War, or so says the might Sly Stallone.
I'm getting a headache thinking about this crap! The point is: The Academy Awards suck! They have lost credibility in the last decade by consistently honoring extremely forgettable movies.
Don't waste your time this years watching this garbage, stare at a wall instead, it is far more interesting and far less irritating.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Movies are lame!
You know what's lame? Movies! You know what's lamer than movies? People who spend crap loads of money to watch a lame movie! For instance, a few months ago "enlightened" college students decided that it was well worth spending $8.75 on Jack Ass 2, even though they could essentially watch the damn show on MTV for nothing. What's so lame about this you might ask? For starters these baseball cap wearing, nacho loving dudes and their shallow girlfriends are wasting time and money watching a group of 30 something year-olds act like high schoolers! Wow, that is so cool! It's so awesome to see grown men act like children! You know what's even more awesome is the fact that they get paid crap loads of money to do it. It gives me a great feeling to know that a group of no-talent dillweeds can make more money in a year than most people make in a lifetime for acting like children. KICK ASS! Maybe I should make my own Jack Ass video, it could make me a millionaire.
Recently, moviegoers young and old alike flocked to see the Jumanji rip off A Night at the Museum. The biggest irony about this film is that it's destined to be forgotten, despite having a huge box office. I'm sure many people will buy it when it comes out DVD; but I'm also certain that it will collect dust on many shelves! The DVD will contain all sorts of special features that no one will watch, but will have been the main reason why they bought it.
I hate movies! OK, this a huge exaggeration, but I'm not in love with them like I used to be. I think the age of the DVD has killed the magic movies once had, because we all know how they're made. It's hard to get excited over a film like Peter Jackson's dreadful remake of King Kong, because as good as the effects might have been, every one knows how they were done. There's no magic behind it, instead it's all computers!
You know what's lame? Movies! You know what's lamer than movies? People who spend crap loads of money to watch a lame movie! For instance, a few months ago "enlightened" college students decided that it was well worth spending $8.75 on Jack Ass 2, even though they could essentially watch the damn show on MTV for nothing. What's so lame about this you might ask? For starters these baseball cap wearing, nacho loving dudes and their shallow girlfriends are wasting time and money watching a group of 30 something year-olds act like high schoolers! Wow, that is so cool! It's so awesome to see grown men act like children! You know what's even more awesome is the fact that they get paid crap loads of money to do it. It gives me a great feeling to know that a group of no-talent dillweeds can make more money in a year than most people make in a lifetime for acting like children. KICK ASS! Maybe I should make my own Jack Ass video, it could make me a millionaire.
Recently, moviegoers young and old alike flocked to see the Jumanji rip off A Night at the Museum. The biggest irony about this film is that it's destined to be forgotten, despite having a huge box office. I'm sure many people will buy it when it comes out DVD; but I'm also certain that it will collect dust on many shelves! The DVD will contain all sorts of special features that no one will watch, but will have been the main reason why they bought it.
I hate movies! OK, this a huge exaggeration, but I'm not in love with them like I used to be. I think the age of the DVD has killed the magic movies once had, because we all know how they're made. It's hard to get excited over a film like Peter Jackson's dreadful remake of King Kong, because as good as the effects might have been, every one knows how they were done. There's no magic behind it, instead it's all computers!
Monday, February 05, 2007
EM-BEAR-ASSING!
I'm happy that my gut feeling was wrong and the Bears lost. It was great to see Rex GROSSman throw two interceptions and to see the Colts tear apart the over-rated Bears defense. The only thing that pissed me off was the Colts inability to score touchdowns in the second half. They had plenty of opportunities to put the game away, but kept letting the damn Bears hang around. Though, the main reason why this upset me is because I was at a bar and when ever the Colts scored a touchdown I was given a free shot. If the Colts would have gotten more touchdowns, I would have gotten more shots. All in all it was a good night!
I'm happy that my gut feeling was wrong and the Bears lost. It was great to see Rex GROSSman throw two interceptions and to see the Colts tear apart the over-rated Bears defense. The only thing that pissed me off was the Colts inability to score touchdowns in the second half. They had plenty of opportunities to put the game away, but kept letting the damn Bears hang around. Though, the main reason why this upset me is because I was at a bar and when ever the Colts scored a touchdown I was given a free shot. If the Colts would have gotten more touchdowns, I would have gotten more shots. All in all it was a good night!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
My thoughts one the Super Bowl (for the two people who care).
Why is that when ever the Colts are favored to win a game, something in my gut tells me they are going to lose? I don't really care for the Colts, but damn it I'd rather see them win a Super Bowl than the Bears. However, given the Colts history for blowing big games, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if Peyton Manning has crappy game against the Bears over hyped defense. Hopefully, my gut feeling is wrong and the Bears lose big time.
The other thing that gives me a bad feeling is the fact that Sean Salisbury picked the Colts to win. When ever, Salisbury picks a team to win they usually lose. He picked the Aints (I mean the Saints) to beat the Bears and we all know how that game turned out.
If the Bears lose I can just see the hilarious headlines now, "EM-BEAR-ASSING" or my favorite one, "GROSS MAN!" And if the Colts lose I can just see the all the damn sportwriters making excuses for Peyton Manning, "The Colts defense really dropped the ball this time around. It's not Manning's fault he threw three interceptions, his defense gave him too much time to make mistakes."
Why is that when ever the Colts are favored to win a game, something in my gut tells me they are going to lose? I don't really care for the Colts, but damn it I'd rather see them win a Super Bowl than the Bears. However, given the Colts history for blowing big games, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if Peyton Manning has crappy game against the Bears over hyped defense. Hopefully, my gut feeling is wrong and the Bears lose big time.
The other thing that gives me a bad feeling is the fact that Sean Salisbury picked the Colts to win. When ever, Salisbury picks a team to win they usually lose. He picked the Aints (I mean the Saints) to beat the Bears and we all know how that game turned out.
If the Bears lose I can just see the hilarious headlines now, "EM-BEAR-ASSING" or my favorite one, "GROSS MAN!" And if the Colts lose I can just see the all the damn sportwriters making excuses for Peyton Manning, "The Colts defense really dropped the ball this time around. It's not Manning's fault he threw three interceptions, his defense gave him too much time to make mistakes."
Sunday, January 28, 2007
You don't understand!
Doc you got to lock me up? Stop looking at as if I'm crazy! Look, you don't understand, year ago I was bitten by a wolf......a werewolf, every night of the full moon I turn into a monster. You got to stop me before I kill again! Please, won't you listen to me, you fool! You got to lock me up now! If you don't, you'll be sorry! I might accidentally kill you while I have temporarily regressed into my bestial form. OK, don't say I didn't warn you. JERK!
Note: This is based entirely off a true story! Except the raving madman didn't use the word jerk, he actually said, "MORON!" But jerk sounded a lot better, so we took a little liberties telling you this exciting story.
Note: The man really wasn't a werewolf, he was actually a pizza delivery boy.
Note: He wasn't bitten by a wolf either, he was actually bitten by his pet cat.
I
Doc you got to lock me up? Stop looking at as if I'm crazy! Look, you don't understand, year ago I was bitten by a wolf......a werewolf, every night of the full moon I turn into a monster. You got to stop me before I kill again! Please, won't you listen to me, you fool! You got to lock me up now! If you don't, you'll be sorry! I might accidentally kill you while I have temporarily regressed into my bestial form. OK, don't say I didn't warn you. JERK!
Note: This is based entirely off a true story! Except the raving madman didn't use the word jerk, he actually said, "MORON!" But jerk sounded a lot better, so we took a little liberties telling you this exciting story.
Note: The man really wasn't a werewolf, he was actually a pizza delivery boy.
Note: He wasn't bitten by a wolf either, he was actually bitten by his pet cat.
I
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Another fuckin' Patriot and Colts play off game!
Why? Why did we have to be given the worst case scenario for an AFC championship game? For the next week on ESPN they are going to be making stupid comments like, "Will Peyton Manning finally beat the Patriots? Is it his year? Will Tom Brady win his fourth Super Bowl? Will history repeat itself? See why Sean Salisbury thinks it's Peyton Manning's year." Then Sean Salisbury (one of the biggest douche bags on the planet) will jabber on and on about how Manning is the greatest quarterback of all time, then as a sidenote say that Tom Brady is pretty good too. Then he'll say something like, "Peyton Manning's defense and offense better not let him down like last year," because as well all know Peyton Manning doesn't make mistakes.
Have you ever watch a Colts game? Every time Peyton Manning throws a completion the commentators are like, "GENIUS! He truly is one of the all time greats." Then when he throws an interception they'll say something like,"It was a smart interception, it was practically like a punt. Manning knows when to make smart interceptions, that why he is the GREATEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME!" Damn the Chargers! Damn the Ravens! Damn all the AFC teams that allowed this to happen.
Why? Why did we have to be given the worst case scenario for an AFC championship game? For the next week on ESPN they are going to be making stupid comments like, "Will Peyton Manning finally beat the Patriots? Is it his year? Will Tom Brady win his fourth Super Bowl? Will history repeat itself? See why Sean Salisbury thinks it's Peyton Manning's year." Then Sean Salisbury (one of the biggest douche bags on the planet) will jabber on and on about how Manning is the greatest quarterback of all time, then as a sidenote say that Tom Brady is pretty good too. Then he'll say something like, "Peyton Manning's defense and offense better not let him down like last year," because as well all know Peyton Manning doesn't make mistakes.
Have you ever watch a Colts game? Every time Peyton Manning throws a completion the commentators are like, "GENIUS! He truly is one of the all time greats." Then when he throws an interception they'll say something like,"It was a smart interception, it was practically like a punt. Manning knows when to make smart interceptions, that why he is the GREATEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME!" Damn the Chargers! Damn the Ravens! Damn all the AFC teams that allowed this to happen.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The Seahawks are the best team ever bro!
Sundays victory over the Tampa Buccaneers proved once and for all that the Seattle Seahawks are the best team ever! I mean...dude... they totally destroyed the Bucs. Matt Hasselbeck is one bad ass bro and don't get me started on Shaun Alexander; he's so bad ass that he makes other bad asses look like Cinderella. The Cowboys don't stand a chance against the Seahawks.
Did you know the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl last year? Super Bowl XXXL was the greatest Super Bowl of all time.
And I don't want to hear the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl! They didn't bro, they were robbed by the refs. The refs had it out for the Seahawks, because of America's love affair with the Steelers. The refs sucked! Hasselbeck clearly is the greatest quarterback of all time and as far as I'm concerned he is a Super Bowl winner.
I really am craving a frappucino at the moment, think I'll head over to Starbucks, bro.
Sundays victory over the Tampa Buccaneers proved once and for all that the Seattle Seahawks are the best team ever! I mean...dude... they totally destroyed the Bucs. Matt Hasselbeck is one bad ass bro and don't get me started on Shaun Alexander; he's so bad ass that he makes other bad asses look like Cinderella. The Cowboys don't stand a chance against the Seahawks.
Did you know the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl last year? Super Bowl XXXL was the greatest Super Bowl of all time.
And I don't want to hear the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl! They didn't bro, they were robbed by the refs. The refs had it out for the Seahawks, because of America's love affair with the Steelers. The refs sucked! Hasselbeck clearly is the greatest quarterback of all time and as far as I'm concerned he is a Super Bowl winner.
I really am craving a frappucino at the moment, think I'll head over to Starbucks, bro.
I think I'll go to the museum.
After having seen the delightful A Night at the Museum, I have decided to take a trip to the museum. According to the movie the museum is a place where "history comes alive." I'm so excited about going to the museum that I actually took the day off from work so I could go. I'm also bringing my girlfriend, because she found the movie delightful as well. Who knows what exciting adventures we will encounter.
After having seen the delightful A Night at the Museum, I have decided to take a trip to the museum. According to the movie the museum is a place where "history comes alive." I'm so excited about going to the museum that I actually took the day off from work so I could go. I'm also bringing my girlfriend, because she found the movie delightful as well. Who knows what exciting adventures we will encounter.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
I'm going to watch The Grinch.
I just LOVE the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, it soooo delightful. I remember when I first saw in the theatres on Thanksgiving, I couldn't stop laughing. It's SOOOOO much better than out dated cartoon of the 60s. That version sucks! It doesn't bother to explain why the Grinch hates Christmas so much. I never understood why he hated Christmas! Thankfully, the Jim Carrey version leaves no stone unturned and explains everything within the first five minutes. Did I mention its directed by the brilliant Ron Howard? That guy is my favorite director! He is infinitely better than that hack Spielberg!
The part that always touches me the most in The Grinch is when he comes to his sense and realizes Christmas is a truly wonderful thing. I always get a tear in my eye.
I must have seen this movie at least 100 times. I watch at least 10 times during the month of December. Well, time to watch this masterpiece of masterpieces.
And if I have time I think I will pop in the joyful Polar Express. I love the "Hot Chocolate" musical number.
I just LOVE the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, it soooo delightful. I remember when I first saw in the theatres on Thanksgiving, I couldn't stop laughing. It's SOOOOO much better than out dated cartoon of the 60s. That version sucks! It doesn't bother to explain why the Grinch hates Christmas so much. I never understood why he hated Christmas! Thankfully, the Jim Carrey version leaves no stone unturned and explains everything within the first five minutes. Did I mention its directed by the brilliant Ron Howard? That guy is my favorite director! He is infinitely better than that hack Spielberg!
The part that always touches me the most in The Grinch is when he comes to his sense and realizes Christmas is a truly wonderful thing. I always get a tear in my eye.
I must have seen this movie at least 100 times. I watch at least 10 times during the month of December. Well, time to watch this masterpiece of masterpieces.
And if I have time I think I will pop in the joyful Polar Express. I love the "Hot Chocolate" musical number.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Where's my burrito?
I've seem to lost my burrito. Where did it go? I left it right on this table when I got up to get some hot sauce. Now it is gone! Did some vandal steal it?I sure hope not! Who would want to break into my apartment to steal a burrito? Did my dog eat it? Unlikely, since I don't have a dog. Where did it go? This is quite the mystery. Maybe it's underneath my couch. I shall look. Yup, there it is.
MMMMM burrito.
I've seem to lost my burrito. Where did it go? I left it right on this table when I got up to get some hot sauce. Now it is gone! Did some vandal steal it?I sure hope not! Who would want to break into my apartment to steal a burrito? Did my dog eat it? Unlikely, since I don't have a dog. Where did it go? This is quite the mystery. Maybe it's underneath my couch. I shall look. Yup, there it is.
MMMMM burrito.
That Jessica Simpson digital cable commercial is so funny!
Have you seen that digital cable commerical in which Jessica Simpson plays Daisy Duke and talks about how you are missing out if you don't have digital cable? You know the one I mean, it ends with her saying, "I don't know what it is, but I totally want it." That commerical! It's so funny! Jessica Simpson is such a great actress! First she made Dukes of Hazzard, then the delightful Employee of the Month and now this uproarous commercial. Is there anything she can't do? I think not! Singer and actress in one, that's quite a talent. Wow! I think Jessica and her sister Ashlee need to make a movie together. If the Duff sisters can make a movie, then surely the Simpson sisters can too.
Have you seen that digital cable commerical in which Jessica Simpson plays Daisy Duke and talks about how you are missing out if you don't have digital cable? You know the one I mean, it ends with her saying, "I don't know what it is, but I totally want it." That commerical! It's so funny! Jessica Simpson is such a great actress! First she made Dukes of Hazzard, then the delightful Employee of the Month and now this uproarous commercial. Is there anything she can't do? I think not! Singer and actress in one, that's quite a talent. Wow! I think Jessica and her sister Ashlee need to make a movie together. If the Duff sisters can make a movie, then surely the Simpson sisters can too.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
This movie based off a true story, therefore it is automatically good. How can you possibly hate something that really happened? Last week my friend and I watched Patch Adams and I thought it was sooooo good, but my friends said it was crap. I told them it was based off a true story, therefore it couldn't be bad. They told me mostly everything in the movie was made up, I was appalled by their lies. Why would filmmakers bastardize the truth? What would they have to gain by doing such a terrible thing? To quote Jean Luc Godard..or was it Francois Truffaut...film is "24 truths a second," or something like that. I don't know, but I do know that anything film based on true events is automatically a good movie and if you hate the truth, then you hate life. That's my opinion, now I think I will watch the historically accurate film Pocahantas.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
My apartment is haunted.
Last night I heard weird noises come from the kitchen in my apartment and came to conclusion that it is haunted. Now, there is no history of murder in my apartment, no one else has reported anything out of the ordinary, but I am convinced it is haunted. If you do not believe my apartment is haunted, then you are closed minded. I am open minded, therefore I am more susceptible to ghosts and other paranormal activities.
One time, I saw an alien eating Taco Bell and when I told my friend he said it wasn't an alien, just a college student with a mohawk. Closed minded fascist! Why don't people believe me? Why can't people believe! I think they need to watch the Polor Express and listen to lyrics to that one song, "If you just believe." That's a good movie!
Last night I heard weird noises come from the kitchen in my apartment and came to conclusion that it is haunted. Now, there is no history of murder in my apartment, no one else has reported anything out of the ordinary, but I am convinced it is haunted. If you do not believe my apartment is haunted, then you are closed minded. I am open minded, therefore I am more susceptible to ghosts and other paranormal activities.
One time, I saw an alien eating Taco Bell and when I told my friend he said it wasn't an alien, just a college student with a mohawk. Closed minded fascist! Why don't people believe me? Why can't people believe! I think they need to watch the Polor Express and listen to lyrics to that one song, "If you just believe." That's a good movie!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Maybe the Bears aren't for real!
After watching the Chicago Bears lose to the Miami Dolphins on Sunday it has dawned on me that maybe, just maybe the Bears aren't for real. I mean let's face it they've had a pretty easy schedule up to this point and the next few weeks are going to be tough on them. It's one thing to score 41 points against the 49ers, but I highly doubt they will be able to put up such numbers against teams like the Giants, Patriots, and the Rams. They're still a good football team, but I don't think they have what it takes to win the Super Bowl. I'll wait and see what Tony Kornheiser has to say about the Bears, he is after all an expert. He's the one who called them a "team of destiny" after their win against the Cardinals on Monday Night Football. I don't know what to think. I'm so confused!
After watching the Chicago Bears lose to the Miami Dolphins on Sunday it has dawned on me that maybe, just maybe the Bears aren't for real. I mean let's face it they've had a pretty easy schedule up to this point and the next few weeks are going to be tough on them. It's one thing to score 41 points against the 49ers, but I highly doubt they will be able to put up such numbers against teams like the Giants, Patriots, and the Rams. They're still a good football team, but I don't think they have what it takes to win the Super Bowl. I'll wait and see what Tony Kornheiser has to say about the Bears, he is after all an expert. He's the one who called them a "team of destiny" after their win against the Cardinals on Monday Night Football. I don't know what to think. I'm so confused!
It's time to kick off the Christmas season!
Christmas is just around the corner, which means it times to kick off the Christmas season. I think I will begin the season by taking the children to see Santa Clause 3; it looks so delightful. The first two Santa Clause films were so cute. It might be a good idea to watch the first two films before I see the third one. I don't want to go into Santa Clause 3 and not be able to follow the narrative. I love Christmas. My favorite Christmas memory is seeing The Grinch on Thanksgiving with my family. That movie was sheer joy from beginning to end. I love Jim Carrey. I already put up my Christmas decorations and I've been listening to Manheim Steamroller for the last three days. I love Manheim Streamroller, their Christmas albums are sooooo good. Oh look, the Coke cans with Santa on them are on the shelves. I think I'll buy at least seven or eight 12 packs. This is going to be one awesome Christmas!
Christmas is just around the corner, which means it times to kick off the Christmas season. I think I will begin the season by taking the children to see Santa Clause 3; it looks so delightful. The first two Santa Clause films were so cute. It might be a good idea to watch the first two films before I see the third one. I don't want to go into Santa Clause 3 and not be able to follow the narrative. I love Christmas. My favorite Christmas memory is seeing The Grinch on Thanksgiving with my family. That movie was sheer joy from beginning to end. I love Jim Carrey. I already put up my Christmas decorations and I've been listening to Manheim Steamroller for the last three days. I love Manheim Streamroller, their Christmas albums are sooooo good. Oh look, the Coke cans with Santa on them are on the shelves. I think I'll buy at least seven or eight 12 packs. This is going to be one awesome Christmas!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Let's go clubbing
We totally got to hit the clubs and pick up some babes. It will be awesome! I have it all figured out, we will walk up to a group of hotties and start groping them, pretending that it's all part our dance routine. They will totally get horny and we will totally score. It will be cool. C'mon let's go clubbing, I guarantee we will get laid. And if we don't at least we can cop a feel. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! I remember one time I went clubbing, I saw this angelic babe in a small, tight uniform dancing on a platform, so I pretended to lose my footing and my hand "accidentally" touched her breasts. It was cool. Then she was like, "Watch it jerk!" I apologized and went on to the dance floor and "accidentally" grabbed a few women's asses. Ha Ha! I told my friends about it the next day while playing Final Fantasy VIII, they were so jealous. Then I came to the horrible realization that it was all dream. I didn't go clubbing! I didn't grope any unsuspecting women! It was one big DREAM! I was so depressed. My lone goal in life is to clubbing, I got to make this one dream come true! I got to! I just go to or else my life is empty, much like the awful Pirates of the Caribbean sequel.
We totally got to hit the clubs and pick up some babes. It will be awesome! I have it all figured out, we will walk up to a group of hotties and start groping them, pretending that it's all part our dance routine. They will totally get horny and we will totally score. It will be cool. C'mon let's go clubbing, I guarantee we will get laid. And if we don't at least we can cop a feel. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! I remember one time I went clubbing, I saw this angelic babe in a small, tight uniform dancing on a platform, so I pretended to lose my footing and my hand "accidentally" touched her breasts. It was cool. Then she was like, "Watch it jerk!" I apologized and went on to the dance floor and "accidentally" grabbed a few women's asses. Ha Ha! I told my friends about it the next day while playing Final Fantasy VIII, they were so jealous. Then I came to the horrible realization that it was all dream. I didn't go clubbing! I didn't grope any unsuspecting women! It was one big DREAM! I was so depressed. My lone goal in life is to clubbing, I got to make this one dream come true! I got to! I just go to or else my life is empty, much like the awful Pirates of the Caribbean sequel.
It's unanimous: The Marine is the greatest movie of all time.
Last night I saw The Marine with my bros and we all agreed that it was the greates movie of all time. I had not been this impressed with a movie since Walking Tall starring The Rock. John Cena was AWESOME! He was one major bad ass; I sure hope there is a sequel in the works, because I really need to see more adventures starring the Marine. And the chick who played his wife, she was HAWT! And best all, it had that one dude from Terminator 2 as the head villain. He's one mean bro! If you're looking for a great film that is both deep and exciting, The Marine is for you.
Last night I saw The Marine with my bros and we all agreed that it was the greates movie of all time. I had not been this impressed with a movie since Walking Tall starring The Rock. John Cena was AWESOME! He was one major bad ass; I sure hope there is a sequel in the works, because I really need to see more adventures starring the Marine. And the chick who played his wife, she was HAWT! And best all, it had that one dude from Terminator 2 as the head villain. He's one mean bro! If you're looking for a great film that is both deep and exciting, The Marine is for you.
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