I recently went to see a movie and I decided I would buy a tray of nachos. I love nachos. I once had a girlfriend who hated nachos, so I threw her out of my car and left her in the middle of the desert, while I scarfed down a tray of nachos. Any ways, as I walked up to the concession stand in the movie theatre, I was horrified to find out that they had sold their last tray ten minutes earlier. I panicked, I started tearing the lobby to pieces. However, in the corner of my eye, I noticed that a ten year-old girl had a tray of nachos. I ran up to her, punched her in the nose, drop kicked her in the stomach and took her tray of nachos. Victory was mine...or so I thought. Her mother saw what I did, pulled out a gun and demanded I return the nachos to her daughter, whose name was Betty Sue. I tried to explain my position, she wouldn't listen. I returned the nachos and walked away with a huge frown on my face. How could I possibly enjoy my movie without a tray of nachos. Just then I saw a gorgeous woman, carrying a tray of nachos. She was all alone. I had a plan. I ran up to the gorgeous woman, punched her in the nose, drop kicked her in the stomach and took her tray of nachos. Thus ends my story.


This was such a stupid story. Who writes this kind of crap? Seriously, who writes this kind of crap? Hi, I'm Leonard Maltin, I'm a film critic and historian. I liked the movie Runaway Bride and I am absolutely appalled by this garbage. What ever happened to all the family friendly websites? I don't know, but this kind of crap should be flushed down the toilet. Until next time, I'm Leonard Maltin and the balcony is closed. Wait, am I Leonard Maltin or Roger Ebert? Who am I? Maybe, I'm Peter Travers. I think I need a vacation.