Monday, October 10, 2005

She was the most beautiful girl in the world.
I loved her unquestionably.....until
SHE RIPPED OUT MY HEART!
We were ever so happy, dancing and singing,
walking and laughing.
I never wanted this romance to end....until
SHE RIPPED OUT MY HEART!
We were to be married, have children
and live together forever.....until
SHE RIPPED OUT MY HEART!
OH WHY DO YOU MOCK GOD?
HOW CRUEL FATE IS!
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?
She told me she wanted out of this relationship,
she said she couldn't stand the sight of me.
I broke down and tears, screaming,
"YOU RIPPED OUT MY HEART, YOU CRUEL CORPORATE BITCH!"
She then drank her over priced, Starbucks espresso and laughed at
my pain.
Why do women always rip out my heart? Why?
I think I shall end my life. Oh yes, I shall.
You don't believe me?
I shall jump off this ledge any minute, oh yes I shall.
And then you will be like, "Oh poor guy, why did that cold hearted harlot
rip out his beautiful, generous heart." Then you will have wished that you
were nicer to me in life. By cruel world, I will miss you not. I shall not return.
Damn it, this ledge is only five feet off the ground. I guess I can't kill myself after all;
I think I will have breakfast. EWWWWWWWWW HONEY NUT CHEERIOS!

The End!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Corporate stooges that have a propensity for Starbucks are bitches whether or not they are male or female. To ride roughshod over these haughty cock mongers, you must attack the essence of their being; their “professional” status. You see, these corporate tools are nothing more than the tenuous veneer that they present day in and day out to their colleagues. Their entire day to day life revolves around obtaining what is the equivalent of corporate Scooby Snacks. Strip them of their false pride and inflated ego and you will destroy them. Do this publicly and film it. Then send the video via email to the people they work with. Consider this your first step towards enlightenment.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

Comrade, you must realize that it is Corporations that are bringing our country down, and that revolution is the only answer to the dangerous threat of capitalism. And yes freedom of speech is one thing, but ruining someone's life is more important when they don't believe our hard-line party views. Bravo Comrade, you MAY have saved yourself from being purged in the coming REVOLUTION.

Anonymous said...

You guys are morons. I myself work for Starbucks and I must say it isn't bad in the least bit. We make first rate coffee and by doing so, supply many college students with much needed caffeine. Sure, we turn in a profit, but what's wrong with that? My dad once told me that the only way to a woman's heart was making lots of money, and so far his advice seems to be working. God Bless Corporate America!

Unknown said...

Yeah the Capitalist Pig-Dog run starBUCKS, didn't hire me, cause they didn't like my Fair Trade Coffee lecture. They buy all of their coffee as Free Trade, supporting more Pig-Dogs. Only true Comrades buy Fair Trade Coffee, starBUCKS should be dismantled for it's crimes against humanity and blatent spreading of Capitalism.