I got myself a new watch for ten dollars at K-Mart. It's pretty damn awesome. It maybe the nicest watch I have ever had in my possession. I once had a Bugs Bunny watch, but I lost it when it fell in the toilet. I also had a gold watch, but my girlfriend of five years stole it when we broke up. What a bitch! I hate women, all they ever do is take things. They take, take, take, but they never give. I remember one time I met this woman at a ShopKo and she was buying a box of tampons. She was a dollar short, so I loaned her a dollar as a nice gesture. How did she repay me? By driving off in her car with her muscle bound boyfriend, who flipped me the bird. Ever since then I have resented women.
Back to my watch, it's pretty cool. I only hope it will be a permanent part of my life, unlike the relationships I've had with women. At first they think the world of you, then after awhile they get bored so they leave you for the first flashy (but shallow) male that catches their eye. God, I hate women. Thank you K-Mart for supplying me with this beautiful watch.

NOTE: This is based off a true story. As we all know if a story is based off a true story, it is automatically good.